artful dodger - ProfilesArchive

About Me

"Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea. This planet has a problem, which is this: most of the people living on it are unhappy for pretty much most of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy. And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches. Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some say that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans. And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, a girl sitting on her own in a small cafe suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything. Sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, a terrible, stupid catastrophe occurred, and the idea was lost forever. This is not her story."

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Creatures of the humanoid persuasion. Relatively intelligent ones too, if at all possible.

My Blog

[My so-called adolescence]

So. I just Netfilxed the entire My So-Called Life Series.Oh my god.When I saw it, I was thinking, 'Oh, wouldn't that be fun.' Nostalgic. All that crap. So I queued it.Well. I just sat down to watch th...
Posted by on Fri, 07 Dec 2007 13:14:00 GMT

[Ive got boobs.]

I cannot wait to learn how to silkscreen on to t-shirts! The idea of getting to make my own custom offensive slogan-shirts is just too exciting.Definitely on my list:IF I WERE YOU,I'D DEFINITELYHAVE S...
Posted by on Sat, 13 Oct 2007 01:55:00 GMT

[By the power of Grayskull!]

In a state of complete and utter boredom, I was looking at my profile just now and realized it had been quite some time since I had last posted anything fresh in my so-called blog... Unfortunately, I ...
Posted by on Fri, 24 Aug 2007 01:05:00 GMT

[It's nothing of a sexual nature, I assure you]

Got this in my email and being the gratuitously self-indulgent narcissist that I am, couldn't resist.ALL ABOUT ME (Isn't everything?)Name: Quasi-anonymity is where it's at.Birthday: December 17thBirth...
Posted by on Wed, 11 Jul 2007 15:44:00 GMT

[Random Related Lines On Summer Scholastic Sloth]

I do not want to work on my thesis proposal.At all.In any way, shape or form.I am tired of working on it.I want to go outside and play.Or...Stay in and be a bum.Either would suit me just fine.Screw sc...
Posted by on Sun, 10 Jun 2007 10:31:00 GMT

[Trousers on the chimp]

A little Pinky & The Brain for your viewing pleasure. :-) B: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?P: Uh... I think so Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants in our size? B: Pinky, a...
Posted by on Sat, 02 Jun 2007 13:39:00 GMT

[Of finals and floors]

Oh god. My apartment is insane. It looks as though my closet, my non-existent dishwasher and every one of my trashcans has just thrown up violently all over it. It is a swamp of trash and dishes and c...
Posted by on Sat, 19 May 2007 01:17:00 GMT

[California is sold out...]

I want to see the Police.The entire state of California is sold out.*weeps*
Posted by on Wed, 16 May 2007 23:35:00 GMT

[This is your brain, this is your brain fried over-easy with toast]

[rant]Yup, it's about that time of the semester. Time when sleep dwindles to three hours max per night and social time vanishes entirely and all I do is sit at my computer except for the dreaded bi-we...
Posted by on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 23:47:00 GMT

[Deep Thought...no really.]

So I've been sitting on my couch--still in my pjs at 5:16pm--, pondering life, existentialism, reality, why we have tailbones but no tails and frontal lobes but seemingly no desire to really use them,...
Posted by on Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:18:00 GMT