Hella Kitty profile picture

Hella Kitty

I am here for Friends

About Me

Big Apple Circus Survivor. Clown Whisperer. Fire Eater. LOVER of plush toys. I was a NO winged dove you might say. Born exhausted and unable to fly due to my gestative life of smokey night clubs, liquor, hallucinogenics, and hundreds of sexual depravities knocking at the walls of my womb. I was legally emancipated from my mother Phyllis (and all of her adoring fans) at the limber age of sixteen. I searched for my place on this crazy blue marble in the sideshows of America, where I eventually starred in the famous contortionist act "Princess Nair and the Bearded Clams". Success was a double edged sword that I swallowed whole. I paid my cash, ass, AND grass because I do believe no one rides for free. Karma doesn't make change it but it does give you store credit. So do me a favor will ya? If you see any of the Bearded Clams out there still pluggin' away, send them my regards. And hey, throw some coin at 'em! They are dedicated and hard working girls!

My Blog

Food Porn of Times of Yore

I am a sucker for the eyecandy of a colorful vintage cookbook from a thrift store. Even better if it is from an estate sale because you know damn well it really lived with people. I have a little...
Posted by on Wed, 12 Nov 2008 14:19:00 GMT

Doing math while listening to Goddess Kring

Well, let's just say it is impossible to do math while listening to Goddess Kring (Shannon Kringen, multi media performance artist..look her up!).  It has been ten or twelve years since I have s...
Posted by on Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:40:00 GMT

bodily function kryptonite

Michael pointed out that it probably all started with me having to take a coffee pee in some blackberry bushes at the Fort Steilacoom dog park today. Karma.....hmmm. Shortly after that, Michael, ...
Posted by on Sat, 03 May 2008 21:26:00 GMT

Cooking in a spiteful pinch. A re-telling of a classic.

I once rented a basement room in a house with  three women I really didn't like that much. I had my own bathroom next to the washer and dryer and I could close my door for privacy if anyone came down ...
Posted by on Mon, 25 Feb 2008 01:08:00 GMT

punching bags (of chips)

Sometimes I get a fierce urge to run down the chip aisle at Safeway and punch all the bags of chips really hard. In my fantasy they pop and explode showering chips into the next aisle and I ...
Posted by on Tue, 19 Feb 2008 00:44:00 GMT

Shabby chic again? Fuck a duck!!

 I know it is different, but it’s as bad as the pure hatred I felt in the 80’s as "country kitchen" crawled out from under it’s duck shaped cornflower blue painted roc...
Posted by on Mon, 14 Jan 2008 09:10:00 GMT