m☮bear.

Hello America, Eat Your Fucking Heart Out.
"To fear death, my friends, is only to think ourselves wise, without being wise: for it is to think that we know what we do not know. For anything that men can tell, death may be the greatest good that can happen to them: but they fear it as if they knew quite well that it was the greatest of evils. And what is this but that shameful ignorance of thinking that we know what we do not know?"
- Socrates
You Cant Party Like Us.
"you're the perfect amount of asshole."
"Hey fuck yo shit baggies!"
"why are we talking about lesbian dildos?!"
"do you want to rant or be happy?" - "rant? why would I rant? we can rant? what? I dont hate annnyyybbboooodddyyyy *big roll of eyes*"
"if they tell us we cant I'll just be like 'fuck you I'm hot.'"
"how many days old are you?"
"your stomach had like a prickle prick"
"you're dancin to the 'dont pee in the middle of the night' song"
"where'd you get the large black man from?"
"they got too many black people in sports illustrated. Man if I wanted to look at a shadow I'd go stand outside."
"did you just fart and blow it out your mouth?"
"well shit, I'll just remember it by myself then."
"you know, the cooler side of warm."
"I feel like the fat kid that never eats"
"wait.. wait no what? MORMANS?"
"oh, I thought it was 'ball boy'"-"yea I did too, but then it was just a grape fruit."
"whats this called?" "water" "works for me."
"I really wanna watch some TV right now... Maybe I'll just look in the mirror."
"shut up, we're laughing."
"i'd be hyde, but female! I'D BE FEMALE HYDE!"
"I forgot what we were talking about.." "me too." "nu uh!" "..pillows."
"yea it could hop! silicone hops... havent you ever seen flubber?"
"GO! GO!" "WHEN?!"
"you have such nice cheekbones, if you wanted to put blush on it'd be easy."
"stop trumpeting at me!"
"you go see if your dad is cooking food." "no, you" "well you are the one dressed most like a ninja!"
"thats what fog is. its a big giant cloud that came down to give the earth a hug."
"haha! sean just let me hump him in the face with a t rex!"
"who would think to pull up to this butt fuck window?!"
"suck dick."
"when will she be done?" "I dont know, I'm not her bladder!"
"well.. you're turning green so I'm pretty sure I feel it."
"the penis master packs it."
"I am not a fucking gagger."
"you have your own, throw it at yourself!"
"have you ever had a cluster ton of fack?"
"I'm too stupid to know what hurt feels like, ner."
"WHAT? That doesn't make any sense!"
"It shouldn't matter to you what I put in my mouth."
"Molly, go sit on the washing machine. BUT I don't wanna sit on it!"
"Maybe if you play your cards right, you can have mine."
"and I'm going to live in you.. like a little crab."
"what? my toes? on the ground? ME TOO!"
"*in dispair* everywhere I turn it doesnt get better!!" "because its INSIDE of you."
"dude we just had a conversation where the only words were ap-plick-able or up-plick-able, and we understood exactly what each other was saying. holy fuck. we're meant to be."
"aliens smoke pot because they get smarter."
"dont these people know we're in a hurry? cuz we're late. and thats what you do when you're late.. you hurry."
"dude I dont even want to run a mile, let alone fall 7."
"how high are you?" "a lot."
"is there any way I can give myself glocoma?" "uh no. absolutely not. doing what?" "what is glocoma anyway?" "the eye thing" "oh. well how do people get it? is it bad? I want to legally be able to have pot." "dude you go blind and its incredibly painful. thats what the weed is for." "oh shit, really? I didnt know it was that intense. damnit.."
"I'm a little fucking mcbaked right now."
"oh yum! ...oh, those are plants..."
"oh my god look its a duck!!" "..thats a chicken."
"we really should stop smoking *pause* ..let me hit that bowl."
"*eating food* dude this is boooooooomb." "no." "why?!" "your face and eyes." "WHAT?!"
"oh ish."
"70 hundredmillions."
"is it moving? or am I moving? whats going on, I need to know."
"Sean I cant just poops my pants"
"It's okay, you can hit the bowl. I won't tell anyone. -McDonalds man."
*Walking to get tickets.*"How fucking full is Narnia?"
"Feel like I have puppy shampoo in my mouth.."
"I love the word cheese I wish I had an excuse to say it more. And now I do!"
"do you think if I was a pizza girl I would get good tips cuz the people would want to have hot sex with me?"
"Juuust looking."
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!?!" "....its a leaf."
"and I tell him I'm scared and he always gives me reassuring words like 'dont worry'."
"I'm hot. So I'm on my knees. It sucks."
"that frog has a broken frace!" "you're right it does have a broken frace!"
"stip, stip, stip, stippin balls."
"yoooooousothelioma?? meeeesothelioma!!!"
"thats my job, I let shitty people know they suck."
To be continued...