Or, A Bunch of Statements That Begin With "I":
I have trouble returning library books and movie rentals in anything approaching a timely fashion. I only like driving if my windows are down, even in the winter. I was designed for urban warfare: nature and I don't get along, rapidly developing suburban areas fill me with dread, and homogeneously white demographics make me uncomfortable. I hate wasting my time on bad movies and resent the people who coerce me into seeing them. I have a problem with authority and people for whom materialism, money, appearances, or fundamentalism are key concerns. I enjoy parentheticals, asides, and italicized thoughts. The word "supper" both sounds and tastes better to me than "dinner," but I always say dinner anyway. My all-time, desert island top magnetic poetry phrase is "investigate my delicious downtown pudding."
Predictions: Or, A Bunch of
Statements that Begin with "I will":
I will, at some point, get on the Brooklyn-bound F train drunk and fall asleep only to wake up in Coney Island. I will then reboard the train and fall asleep a second time, winding up back in Manhattan.
I will inexplicably make my first millions before I turn thirty, most likely in music, which I will no doubt squander spending lazy months abroad and neglecting my craft. Eventually, my gregarious and prodigal ways will end whatever venture has provided me my fortune, and I will settle down on a bucolic vineyard estate in Bonnieux with a capricous but devoted French woman. There I will very probably drink wine and dote after my many mongrel children while turning my creative energies towards Hellerian writing.
I will, however, still think of New York as home.
| ..
Remember, campers: keep your food and garbage suspended from trees at night, and don't bring menstruating women camping. They attract bears.
Current Top Five Songs:
1. "Stubborn Kind Of Fellow," Marvin Gaye
2. "Police On My Back," The Clash
3. "Love Is The Drug," Roxy Music
4. "Overreaction," Sure Juror
5. "Can't Hardly Wait," The Replacements
Current Top Five Albums:
All-Time Top Ten Movies:
All-Time Top Five Books:
Things I love:
1. Absurdist humor. Read: Bloom County/Outland/Opus , Dinosaur Comics , Toothpaste For Dinner , Married To The Sea .
2. Making concert flyers out of clipart .
3. New York in blizzards , on album covers , blackouts , cataclysmic climate changes brought on by meteorites , or just, you know, being New York .
4. Making music .
5. Songs based on Silence Of The Lambs .
6. Religion .
7. TCM marathons with Robert Osborne.
8. Pre-1970s America, particularly the 20s and the 50s, and any movies made in those eras, especially seedy film noirs , cinematic soap operas , and classic love stories .
9. Philosophical drunken monologues .
10. Anglophilia .
