April

I am a genuine, hearty person who is just lost and discouraged at this stage in her life. Optimism is difficult to come by, but cherrished when it arrives so I try my hardest to make the best of each situation that presents itself. Whilest it seems that most things in my life are spiraling madly out of my control, I have come to realize recently that there still are things I CAN be consistant with. Myself and I are the only absolute things that are within my complete command. I STILL HAVE THE CONTROL. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those neurotic, insane [completely] obsessive-compulsive people, but its refreshing to understand that I still have something stable to hang on to when the rest of my existance seems to plummet around me. It's amazing how you can feel all alone when you're lost in a crowd- surrounded by so many and yet sense that no one is really there. These are all emotions I know that I have to work through and with each frail step I grow stronger. Its just becomes too overwhelming when it seems like you are the only one fighting. Only determination and time will see me through said moments, and I pray I gather plenty of both.