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I am the only girl in a pack of thirteen. My father is the Puerto Rican Johnny Appleseed. My mother’s the only Colombian obsessed with vacuum lines. My Top 5 phobias: public water, mayonnaise, ex-boyfriends, natural disasters and the little white drop of milk slobs get on their lower lip when they’re eating Rice Krispies. My name is Monti. Welcome to my planet. I'm a comic/ radio grrrl/ freelance writer. You can hear me every morning as host of "The Ladies Room" on Seattle’s KQMV 92.5 FM or online at movin925.com