I am the man behind the next Reese Witherspoon (My wife Deanna is the Cheerleader saying "freak"):.. width="425" height="350">.. ....>
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: It starts with an M
Birthday: About 29 years ago
Birthplace: Between my mother's legs
Current Location: Between my wife's legs... Just kidding.
Eye Color: White and black and another color in between
Hair Color: This side of gray still
Height: Varies
Right Handed or Left Handed: Well, I am in my right mind, you figure it out
Your Heritage: Redneck
The Shoes You Wore Today: Kicked someone in the ass
Your Weakness: Cats doing it doggie style
Your Fears: Dogs doing it cat style
Your Perfect Pizza: Papa John's
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: I don't play sports
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Who the f@ck still uses that?!? Throw your pagers away as well...
Thoughts First Waking Up: Where am I
Your Best Physical Feature: Boobs
Your Bedtime: Whenever Deanna lets me mate
Your Most Missed Memory: How can I remember a memory that is now missing?!?!
Pepsi or Coke: A line of Pepsi cut with Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: Ummm... Is MAC Donalds some ghetto verions of MC Donald's I don't know about? If so I am in!
Single or Group Dates: Well, I doubt Deanna would be into a group thing...
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nastee :)
Chocolate or Vanilla: I'm not racist
Cappuccino or Coffee: Whatever is easie for the illegals to pick, I'm not an asshole...
Do you Smoke: Don't know, I stay pretty far away from fires
Do you Swear: Yeah, really, I stay pretty far away from fires.
Do you Sing: You tell me
Do you Shower Daily: I don't even WATCH Carson Daily let alone bathe the man..
Have you Been in Love: I think I drove through it in Texas on the move out here...
Do you want to go to College: I didn't go when I went
Do you want to get Married: I'm never getting married again :)
Do you belive in yourself: I'm not Jesus, I fart too much
Do you get Motion Sickness: Only when I masturbate on a stranger's waterbed
Do you think you are Attractive: Well, I jerk off in the mirror if that counts
Are you a Health Freak: Yeah, I have a healthy appetite ;)
Do you get along with your Parents: Well, dad hasn't talked much since he passed away
Do you like Thunderstorms: I love all Garth Brooks songs
Do you play an Instrument: How many times do you want to hear that I paw my pistol grip with my meat mits everyday?!?!
In the past month have you Smoked: Maybe when I tried to light a fart
In the past month have you been on Drugs: I think I sat on a heroin needle in the park if that counts as being "on" drugs
In the past month have you gone on a Date:
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Just to pretend steal
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: You're not supposed to eat the box
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Really dirty thought...
In the past month have you been on Stage: Which one?
In the past month have you been Dumped: Didn't notice if I did
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Is that having sex with someone skinny? Then yes.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: The world is mine so no.
Ever been called a Tease: Seriously, what century was this written
Ever been Beaten up: And down.
Ever Shoplifted: I'm not that strong
How do you want to Die: Last
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A lunch box
What country would you most like to Visit: Hawaii
In a Boy/Girl..
Favorite Eye Color: Red like the Terminator
Favorite Hair Color: Shaved. Gigity...
Short or Long Hair: Shaved. Gigity gigity!
Height: No
Weight: No
Best Clothing Style: Birthday suit
Number of CDs I own: Again, WHAT CENTURY WAS THIS WRITTEN IN?!?!
Number of Piercings: At least 3 times a night.
Number of Tattoos: I hate birds.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: One, this survey.
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