Kasseye

My names Kasseye. Personal experience have taught me alot in life.
I miss my past soo much. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss the old me.
I think I've changed DRAMATICALLY in the last month and I'm so scared to what I'm going to turn out to be. I want to get out of everything but its like my body needs, and feens for it.
I miss everthing, nothings going right, right now and it kills me honestly it kills me everyday.
I miss my friends also, I haven't been there and I feel like I'm slowly drifting from them and I don't know what to do. My friends helped me get through all the shit of my life, and I'm just being a total fucking idiot and treating them like shit.
Man, I don't even know like. I'm also falling for people right now and everythings always great at the start but like they have a boyfriend/girlfriend and it kills me. Don't tell me you like me if your going to go date someone eles be honest don't lead people on thats fucking rude, ignorant and one of the meanest things you can do.
My family I fucking miss with my entire life. I miss my mom soo fucking much it hurts to think about it. My sisters it doesn't even feel like we're sisters. My grandma is sick and shes like my bestfriend. If I lose my grandma I don't know what I'll do, I won't be able to funciton, I won't be able to go on.
Everyday I ask myself "what are you doing with your life Kasseye, are you doing good or bad for yourself". Everyday its the same responce "your doing nothing, your going no where and your doing everything wrong". No matter how hard I try no matter what, I'll always be looked down apon and I will always feel like I'm worthless.
Basically, I don't know what to do anymore, how to do it anymore.
I just need a miracle.
I cannot go to the ocean I cannot drive the streets at night I cannot wake up in the morning Without you on my mind So you're gone and I'm haunted And I bet you are just fine