Derek profile picture

Derek

I am here for Friends

About Me

What about me? What about YOU?

I'm clever and offensive but always entertaining. Sucker for board games and bar trivia. Work full-time as a tech support geek-of-all-trades. Currently pursuing my bachelor's degree in criminal justice. I like my jokes dirty, my coffee black, and my women attractive enough to give me wood yet still able to use a semicolon properly.

My Interests

My hobbies include gallavanting, tomfoolery, and various sorts of shenanigans.

I'd like to meet:

Your mom.

Music:

Johnny Cash, Reverand Horton Heat, The Clash, Dropkick Murphys, Social D, CCR, Skynyrd, The Killers, The Hives, OK GO, Beach Boys, Beastie Boys, Elvis (both Costello and Presley), ZZ Topp, Bloodhound Gang, Barenaked Ladies, Reel Big Fish, Fleetwood Mac, Richard Cheese. Anything from funk to punk, rock (classic, southern, brit, alternative, new) to hip-hop, country to rockabilly... Music is my anti-drug.

Movies:

Star Wars, Sin City, Tombstone, Boondock Saints, Snatch, Kevin Smith's Jersey Trilogy + Dogma + JSBSB, Texas Chainsaw Massacre/TCM 2, Full Metal Jacket, Big Trouble In Little China, Van Wilder, Harold & Kumar, Waiting..., Hellboy, The Pirate Movie, Super Troopers, Cannibal! The Musical, Orgazmo, BASEketball, Blazing Saddles, Blues Brothers, Animal House, Caddyshack, Office Space, Swingers, So I Married An Axe Murderer, Top Secret!, Airplane!, Lake Placid, Kill Bill, Killer Klowns From Outer Space, PCU, Revenge of the Nerds, House/House 2, Gone In 60 Seconds, Hackers, Empire Records, Fletch, Spaceballs, Time Bandits, Ice Pirates, Shaun of the Dead, Harry Potter, 28 Days Later, Dawn of the Dead, Evil Dead Trilogy... ad infinitum, I'm a movie junkie, too.

Television:

Entourage, Heroes, Robot Chicken, Family Guy, How I Met Your Mother, NCIS, The Unit, Criminal Minds, CSI:LV and NY (Miami is too Caruso), Mythbusters. Other than that, TV rots your brain.

Books:

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell by Tucker Max, Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox, Anything by Chuck Palahniuk, The Catcher In The Rye by J.D. Salinger, J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series, Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson, and The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis.

Heroes:

Chuck Norris.