Mike profile picture

Mike

I Need what I don't Deserve - GRACE!

About Me

Where do I start?
Well, my name is Mike and I'm an addict; not your typical chemically dependent addict - I'm a love junkie and I can't take credit for that term....
I've made some serious mistakes in my distant and recent past. I was on the brink of ruining my marriage because I thought I fell in love with someone else.
I know now more than ever that it couldn't have been love. Yes, the feelings were real, I'm not denying that, but love is so much more than feelings.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight inevil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. If you're wondering where that definition is from, you won't find it in webster, or any collegate dictionary, its from the bible in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.
Well, if that's what love is then what I thought I had with this other person could not have been love. It's even hard for me to say that now because the feelings are still so fresh; but I read those verses and am forced to take a look at the people in my life. Upon some very untimely reflection (I should have done this much sooner), I realize that the person who's acted that way toward me more than anyone else is my wife Emily. I don't hold up to that standard of love toward her, but she's been that way toward me.
Since love never fails I'm choosing to not fight anything but the good fight. I tried to be the master of my own destiny, constructing and manipulating a plan of my own device - and it got me where I was (which was not a good place, in case you didn't know that - and if you didn't know, I'm sure you'll know soon...). I hardened my heart and turned my back on the God, who's always loved and accepted me, and my closest and dearest friends, who are still here for me. I'm finally giving up and giving in to God in a new way and am allowing Him to fight my battles right now.
If you know about the situation, that's fine; I'm not here to defend anything. I only hope that through this current myspace people might see what happens to a person who loves the Lord but willfully turns away from that love, is disobedient and prideful, and finally repents (which just means turns around, in this case back to the Lord).
Thank you for your time and your prayers - they're much needed and appreciated!
I don't have much left except the hope for GRACE. If I get what's coming to me, I'm in big trouble... but I'm holding out for, hoping for, and expecting GRACE - better than I deserve.
Feel free to hit me up if you wanna talk more - and if you're one of the teens from the Cross Carriers Youth Ministry, please know that I love you, I'm not abaondoning you in any way, am still here for you as a friend (just not as our official leader), every way that I was used by the Lord in your life is still valid and real (I didn't fake, manufacture, or manipulate the Holy Spirit), and, as I stated already, I am experiencing the consequences for certain choices I've made. I hope you can forgive me for not being around.Layout made by xxblackwave96xx at CreateBlog.com .

My Interests

Hanging out with friends, writing and painting, reading, praying, serving the poor, pursuing social justice for God's kingdom, listening to music, traveling, being "Naturally Supernatural"

I'd like to meet:

.. width="425" height="350" .. I love to speak with people who think critically. I don't like to limit my friends to a particular world-view or ideaology but appreciate the differences in diversity. I am a follower of Christ, but, if you so choose to get to know me, I hope you will find out I'm not the average, typical, or stereo-typcial Christian.
One thinker that I truly love said this, "So, ultimately, God’s wisdom is beyond the human grasp, his ways beyond human control. He often offends our mind to reveal our heart, and thus refine our faith." Wow! That's amazing. Luckily for me I already know that guy... I used to work with him at The Vineyard Church; he still works there as the assistant pastor. I hope you get to hear him speak some day. If you really want to hear what he has to say, check out his blog @ Steve's Blog
There is so much "ungrace" out there I want to be here to dispence GRACE. We go about wearing masks 90% of the time, the other 10% we're usually asleep. I want people to know that there is a place where they can be real with God and real with each other, where there is safety; a place to be loved unconditionally. I am just as in need of Grace as everyone else, who am I to with hold it from someone?
So if you'd like to talk feel free to hit me up with a message.
If you're a young person and wanna talk, since I did run a youth ministry, feel free to check out the Cross Carriers myspace group @ Cross Carriers Group

The X3 PorNO! Pledge
1. I will be accountable to someone. Whether it is a friend, a relative, a pastor or a spouse. I realize if I try and do this on my own I'm going to jack it up.2. I will be open and real about my own struggles knowing that the truth will lead to freedom. I am not ashamed to be human and realize that mama was right...honesty is the best policy.3. I will talk about the dirty little secret and encourage others to be real and open about it. Let's realize that we are all in this together, right?4. I will put safeguards in my life to keep me away from this crap. If it means I've got to get rid of the satellite dish and DSL, then I will do it.
Take The NoHo Pledge(JUST FOR THE LADIES)
I, state your name, promise to the best of my ability not to dress, buy clothes or act like a Ho. Clothes I should try to avoid buying or wearing: tight pants that are cut so low that when I bend over you can see my g-string or butt crack, tight half shirts that show my six or not-so-six pack, tight shirts that are low cut to show my cleavage or short shorts that you can see my butt cheeks in.I know that God desires me to glorify him in all things and I realize that by dressing like a Ho, I only desire to give glory to me, not God. I also know boys have a problem with sexual things and I know that by not dressing like a Ho, I can be a part of the solution, not the problem!

Music:

Pretty much any genre of music that I feel sounds good and is pleasing to my ears. This ranges anywhere from jazz/blues to hardcore rock and just about everything in between. I spend most of my time listening to worship music but when I'm not doing that I mostly listen to different forms of rock.

Movies:

I love to watch movies. It's funny with me, almost any movie can remind me of God and break me down to tears. Whenever I see selflessness, true love, friendship, the pain that's in the world that people experience all over and all the time, etc... I would say specifically I've seen this stuff in Man on Fire, Duets, the Notebook, ButterflyEffect, Bruce Almighty, etc... I mostly watch old Hong Kong kungfu flicks. They're great. I like action/adventure most of all out of "normal" genres of movies.

Television:

I rarely, if ever, watch t.v. I am so busy reading or doing any .. of the other tasks in my day that I don't even get to the t.v. But, it's not something I really miss. Infact, I'm doing just fun. When I do watch it's probably a cartoon or an action filled sports event like UFC or some post season game.

Books:

Pretty much anything I can get my hands on I'll read, from the back of a cereal box to the front of your t-shirt. I like certain magazine articles, novels, short stories, poetry. I also enjoy reading up on activities I like, most specifically kung fu. I mostly like the "super-texts", those works of liturature that are hundreds of years old and have stood the test of time. They really get to the core of who we are as humans and the nature that is within all of us. I am looking forward to trying out a new one for me, Machiaveli's "The Prince". It came highly recommended. Other than that I make it a very very regular habit of reading the bible, the old and new testaments and training materials for the area of ministry I'm involved in or looking to get involved in.

Heroes:

My ..1 Hero is Jesus Christ. He regularly influences me and challenges me to better living. Plus, he did some of the coolest things I've ever heard about, beside freeing me to be myself and who I am, he lives in me by his Holy Spirit and for some reason has chosen to use me, along with millions of others across the world and across time, to continue his work here on earth, like healing the sick, casting out demons, serving and ministering to the poor and disenfranchized, counseling and coming alongside the broken, and a whole slew of other cool things. Other than that I have a lot of heroes from the bible. I also look up to my leaders/pastors here at the Vineyard. I have a ton of 'not church related' heroes but these are the ones that influence me the most on a regular basis.

My Blog

Is God Green? I think so!

I just watched this great documentary on Moyers on America from PBS yesterday @ http://www.pbs.org/moyers/moyersonamerica/green/index.html I want to encourge you to check it out.  It brings to li...
Posted by Mike on Fri, 13 Oct 2006 03:15:00 PST

Fear and Excitement - Live or die trying

I don't know about you but the call of Christ on my life to, "Deny yourself; take up your cross daily and follow me" is at the same time terrifying and exhilerating. I think about what it really means...
Posted by Mike on Thu, 22 Jun 2006 09:50:00 PST

Green Street Hooligans

I just watched Green Street Hooligans with Elijah Wood and Charlie Hunnam.  I liked it. It was raw and real and shined some light on the attraction of "thug life".  One of the quotes that st...
Posted by Mike on Wed, 21 Jun 2006 11:17:00 PST

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Just in case some of you didnt get the chance to read the bulletin I posted marked THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I wanted to put it up in a blog - edited of course - for all to see so they know what's been goi...
Posted by Mike on Thu, 13 Oct 2005 09:22:00 PST

What do you think of when you hear "evangelical church"???

What do you think of when you hear "evangelical church"? Well to be honest, I'm pretty pissed.  I'm angry at the state that the church has been in for quite some time.  I'm reading a book by...
Posted by Mike on Thu, 06 Oct 2005 08:23:00 PST

Why I do what I do...

People ask me why I want to be a pastor all the time.  1st I usually get asked why I'm a Christian, then the follow up is usually why am I a pastor...  If I had to break it down to 1 reason ...
Posted by Mike on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

National Vineyard Leaders Conference

Wow! I got back from the National Vineyard Leaders' Conference in Columbus, OH just the other night. It was amazing. More than anything else it was confirming. Burt Waggoner, our National Director...
Posted by Mike on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Answering the questions about "Doing the stuff"

Well, Doing the Stuff is something I'm really passionate about so I figured I'd let you all into what it is... so here you go, it's really simple so don't let it slip past you :) It is really all jus...
Posted by Mike on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Holy Expectation

The Holy Spirit is so alive. For the last few weeks every time I'm getting ready to teach or minister to the youth group (C2) or the kinship I lead I have been getting filled with this unexplainable ...
Posted by Mike on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

This is all so new to me

Well, I finally decided to get a myspace account. I am a youth leader at my church for the Cross Carriers (C2) youth group. I look forward to seeing how God is going to use myspace to reach new teen...
Posted by Mike on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST