Matt - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Here is a duck. This duck is named after the legendary Frenchman and professional Tennis player Henry Leconte; he is a balding fat man. He is pink because that is a good colour for a duck.
adopt your own virtual pet!I've finally done a myspace survey. Crazy!
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Matt
Birthday: 21/12
Birthplace: B.R.I.
Current Location: Charfield (pity me...)
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: I like to think of myself as brunette...
Height: Apparently 5'8.3 recurring. Seriously.
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right. Like all the cool people.
Your Heritage: 1/8 Scottish. Bit Welsh to, not sure how much... Randy Welsh.
The Shoes You Wore Today: Not today.
Your Weakness: Cute things. I don't like them, they know i'm weak...
Your Fears: The Unpredictable.
Your Perfect Pizza: Don't be ridiculous. I'm English so a Sandwich.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Becoming king of Belgium.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: lol!
Thoughts First Waking Up: I fancy a curry.
Your Best Physical Feature: Eyes.
Your Bedtime: Far too late.
Your Most Missed Memory: Primary School...
Pepsi or Coke: Coke. I 'aint no Vegetarian bitch!
MacDonalds or Burger King: Pepsi.
Single or Group Dates: Who writes these?! Fascists!
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Not my thing.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Chocolate.
Do you Smoke: Hell no. I want to live.
Do you Swear: Yes.
Do you Sing: Sadly.
Do you Shower Daily: Twice in the Summer.
Have you Been in Love: ...
Do you want to go to College: I'm at College...
Do you want to get Married: Go on then.
Do you belive in yourself: When i've had a few.
Do you get Motion Sickness: Yep.
Do you think you are Attractive: No. I'd be a bit worried if I did...
Are you a Health Freak: no.
Do you get along with your Parents: Usually. When they aren't gardening.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yeah!
Do you play an Instrument: Drums.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: No i'm ill at the minute and i'm on something that makes me sick if i drink.
In the past month have you Smoked: Yes. Passive smoking counts.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: No.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Nope.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yeah was ill in HMV though...
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No but i do everytime i leave the country.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: No.
In the past month have you been on Stage: Don't think so...
In the past month have you been Dumped: No.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Not to my knowledge.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: ''
Ever been Drunk: No. Really not sure why...
Ever been called a Tease: Yes. When i tease people.
Ever been Beaten up: Hell no! I'd kick their ass!
Ever Shoplifted: No.
How do you want to Die: Laughing. I nearly did in year 11 R.E. several times.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: King of Belgium.
What country would you most like to Visit: America.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Blue.
Favourite Hair Color: Not bothered.
Short or Long Hair: Long.
Height: Um, bit shorter than me i guess...?
Weight: A ton. (Imperial obviously)
Best Clothing Style: Yes.
Number of CDs I own: Over 7 and a half.
Number of Piercings: 0.
Number of Tattoos: 0.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Most things. If i could do it all again i'd know exactly what was coming. I'd be like God if i believed in the guy.
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My Interests

Hey look! It's emulated Pacman!
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I'd like to meet:

Anthony Kiedis, Miyomoto and people who have myspace; unless i don't like you in which case i don't wish to know you exist. A man wider than he is tall.

Music:

R.E.M, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Thin Lizzy. Audioslave, Mark Knopfler, Bon Jovi, Incubus, The Kooks, Coldplay, Dire Straits, Eric Clapton, Jamiroquai, Jack Johnson, Nirvana, Kings Of Leon, Led Zeppelin, Snow Patrol, Lostprophets, The Killers, Jimi Hendrix, Chris Cornell. Possibly some other stuff.

Movies:

Any stupid or pointlessly offensive comedies or ones with Lesley Nielson. I don't have to explain that

Television:

Neighbors. That is by far the best soap in the world, it's like eastenders. But in Australia. Friday Night With Jonathan Ross, The Fast Show, Frasier, QI, South Park and old Parky obviously. Recently developed a fascination with U.S. sit-coms. Here is a list of things i find even slightly interesting: The relationship between richard and judy, currency, the postal service, insanity, idiocy, heinemann maths textbooks, people who understand mathematics, mr mckinstry; (I wrote an opera about him: 'McKinstryo!'), The political ideology of the band 'rage against the machine', metaphysics, political correctness, paranoia, energy travelling in waves, Buchy, smoking, zebra crossings, railways, black holes, unjustified ethnocentricity, religious fundamentalism, colour, rainbows, the industrial age, the blue whale, crabs in all their forms, the sea; (i'm a bit scared of it though), lcd screens, toffs, the 25-35 generation-why? flight, magnetism, the belief of many South Americans that they are automatically entitled to U.S. citizenship, airports, the moon, water, fridges, Scotland. the concept of a massive bridge linking britain and ireland, the japanese. light, pictures of the earth from space, men on the moon, civilisation. Chile, lasers, gravity. thinking, the irrationality of morality. The concept of things being 'wrong', the arrogance of being original, the mind of gavin huxford, luxembourg, other people. If you've read this i pity you.

Books:

Yeah but more importantly I have a Harry Potter based claim to fame-My best mate's mate's* cousin is Hermione Granger. Seriously. That is an awesome claim to fame for me. My other is being part Scottish. *Who is a junior weightlifting champion by the way.

Heroes:

Sean Bean. Sean bean is the best actor guy ever. Sean Bean dies in every film he is in because there aren't any other actors that can die anywhere near as convincingly. Anyone who doesn't like Sean Bean is almost certainly a criminal or something. Prof. Robert Winston: The world's most powerful Gynecologist. His knowledge probably stems from his awesome moustache. Just look at the man's titles-he is Baron Sir Lord Professor Doctor Robert Maurice Lipson Winston. Oh and anyone else in the world with a moustache. The Magic Pencil, El Nombre, John McEnroe. Women. Think about it. They have to do periods, birthing and that. Also women beaters beat them sometimes which is mean. Other heroes may include; 'Dave' Legood, Economics teachers and all other over-paid fat men, that guy from The Fast Show that says '...i was very, very drunk' and of course, Brian Sewell. Here is a collection of all the knowledge i have amassed. I would encourage others to accept it without question, perhaps replacing your religion with it: Never hit a woman unless it is an emergency. You can kill her you just can't hit her.Never give in to a man that is bigger than you. Cause him as much trouble as you possibly can using all means at your disposal.Never underestimate a woman. There is nothing more terrifing than an angry woman. It is more scary than 10,000 bearded men with sticks.You cannot measure someones worth by wealth alone.Never under estimate, always over estimate.Never be earlier than 5 mins late for anything regardless of the circumstances or the occasion.When writing make the letters as big as possible so people think you are a big man.When spelling make your mistakes as ridiculous as possible. Claim you are writing in a foreign language.Take yourself seriously but never show any outwards signs you do.Never tell anyone what you are feeling unless you absolutely must. Make sure they're male and under 30.Trust no one between the ages of 29 and 46.If people disagree with something you are doing it is probably the right thing to be doing.If someone doesn't agree with you then someone else in the world does.Buy an N64.Never trust a man with a beard.Never be afraid of the possibilities.

My Blog

My hat is Lucky

...and i can prove it. Also, YES. I should be back at KLB soon. Seriously. Also also; I may do a proper blog soon, complaining about something I guess.
Posted by Matt on Thu, 13 Sep 2007 08:23:00 PST

Enemies list

In no particular order: 1) The Cow (it was my enemy first regardless of what people may tell you) 2) Bignell 3) Woofy or big or iritating looking dogs 4) Religion 5) Communism/China 6) Loud people 7) ...
Posted by Matt on Fri, 11 May 2007 08:28:00 PST

My complete life story

Posted by Matt on Wed, 25 Apr 2007 05:21:00 PST