shama

About Me

She's my favourite.

PINCH MY ARSE AND YOU WILL GET A SLAP.

I`m obsessive. Always up for a good time. Smoker. Lazy. Funny. Gay. Paranoid. Open-minded. Crab dancer (ask for demonstration). Chickpea lover. Confident, but shy. Quick, yet so slow. Up my own a**e, but self- conscious. Walking contradiction.

I like finding things, especially new names.

Addicted to the scent of party poppers, varnish and petrol.

I can't stop eating chicken.

Too much chicken can give you gout. Apparently.

I REALLY LIKE WOKS.

My mother told me, if I was good, that she would buy me, a rubber dolly, my aunty told her, I kissed a soldier, now she wont buy me, a rubber dolly.

I AM NOT INDIAN.

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My Interests

I once fell down the stairs whilst wearing boxing gloves and broke my arm.

I was at Crystal Palace zoo and got rammed up the bum by a goat. I screamed so loud, I gave myself a nose bleed. This also happened when my nan's tortoise bit my toe.

I wear aftershave. I'm a real boy.

I pay the colonel visits on numerous occasions.

I need pop and chicken in my life. By the bucket load please Mr Colonel.

I'd like to meet:

Your mum.

AND

"Surf dudes with attitudes..."

This is dan...

Music:

I have shit music taste.

I take it very hard.

Apart from this magical number...

Movies:

Nightmare before Christmas is by far the best thing since immac.

White Chicks...

SAW...

My Summer of Love...

But I'm a Cheerleader...

Boys Don't Cry...

Television:

Trashy TV.

Neighbours.

Home&Away.

Tacky, cheesy adverts.

I once had a nodding churchill dog until i went round a corner too fast and his head flew off. I was gutted.

Books:

Out of the Dark - Linda Cain & Robin Royston.

Digitally enhanced nugget.