"I'm a teenage assassin executing some fun in the cult of the life of crime."
It was the last time he wrote to her.
It was the last time he spoke to her.
It was the last time he thought of her.
She was the last thing on his mind forever.
Love to ones heart is like a locust in a field of crops.
What good can come of this infesting scum?
None, says I.
Love attacks what little life we have.
what soul can bear such a daunting despair?
None, says I.
Why do we commit such a withering dare,
when we're fully aware of its irreparable wear?
Not a clue, have I.
sit down.
spill your guts.
share the sidewalk;
we'll share the stars.
drown your sorrows.
heal your scars.
drink to the night sky with me.
your skin; your scent
so mesmerizing; innocent.
you kill me softly.
to die with you would be a dream come true.
all we want is truth and meaning.
all we feel are horrid feelings.
all we have are plastic smiles.
we find answers to nothing,
regardless of our travelled miles.
and one day it'll all unravel and come together at the same time
one day we'll stare blankly at eachother and reconcile
one day we'll shoot up on the river rocks and fall into the ocean
sometimes the wind will blow us in a different direction
someday we'll fall on our faces
somehow we'll know when i'm in the north pole and you're in the south
sometimes i'll know when to open my mouth
someday you'll care enough to shut it down
someday i'll care enough to oblige
yesterday was our hey day
today we don't say hey
tomorrow we'll learn that yesterdays were the best days
I saw defeat with my own eyes
And I tasted it with my own mouth. I'm in such a familiar place.
I want to speak, but my words to your ears
would be like enormous cracks
on the train tracks.
Derailment.
What a train wreck we'd be.
Accidents waiting to happen.
Golden hats swagger through our stages.
Mugs of coffee sipping themselves.
Numbers, letters, alpha-numeric.
Gulping air as opposed to gasping for it.
Words spewed onto paper
make more sense to the pen.
Get your diploma. Reach for diplomacy.
Shattered glass on the floor.
My feet are sliced and bleeding; begging for more.
Pain is love. Love is beautiful.
Love is pain that is so beautiful.
Post-it notes a-plenty.
Powdered water. Just add _____.
Lemony limes. Appley pears. Grapey fruits.
Chances blown. Blows thrown.
I'm stuck on this line. Reel me in.
Are you counting your change?
Change your accountant.
It took this long to know the real you.
It'll take longer to know if i'm really me.
Escape. Delete. End. Coward.
Today, I was angry.
Today, I was sad.
Today, I was confused.
Today, I wished I'd never had what I never had.
Tomorrow starts anew.
There is no other option but to throw a penny in a pond.
Show me yours, i'll tell you about mine.
A slice of heaven in a box.
What more can we say?
Save my breath for another day.
i waited in the basement for all these months.
i waited until called upon. of all the stupid stunts.
why would i wait for what i will not bear?
why would i wait for what is not there?
truth be told, i was a hopeful lad.
full of good hopes that would eventually go bad.
i feel like i'm finally overcoming this phase.
that feeling is reversed every time i gaze.
they say time is a cure for these horrid times.
they say time can cure this shattered heart of mine.
time in the darkness is what i will need.
maybe i will be missed. maybe i won't.
if you're trying to stop me, please don't.
it's times like these that make it a perfect time to disappear.
it's time. it's perfect. i disappear.
sometimes i get the urge to spill my guts about everything that disappoints me and makes me angry and about everything that i love and makes me happy but i fail to do so and it stays locked in my head along with confessions that i will keep with me until i am dead and all the things i love may actually love me again and i hope and i pray that maybe someday i can relive this adventure i am over and done with today because never again for as long as i live will i ever feel the same for a person as i did and sometimes and always regretfully so i am running away from these dreams and these hopes and i stay awake for all hours of the night so i don't have to dream about the strife in my life and i wont have to feel again what i feel everyday and every hour because the cold makes me numb and i wish i were back on my meds that make me dumb and oblivious to my feelings and constrict my emotions and let me tell you that if i spill my guts they can probably fill the pacific ocean and overflow into the desert oh god how i wish i could revert to times more innocent and filled with more joy than they were filled with hurt and i lack all the confidence to go out and flirt because rejection is widespread when i wont go out and exert all the person i am and the person i'll be and it is plain as yogurt that nobody will ever see the person i am and the person i'll be if i don't go out on a limb and clear the debris and know that it is perfectly ok to be singing off key because nobody is perfect and nobody will be and i won't be perfect but to somebody someday, i will definitely be.
What can I say
I'm stressing everyday
Sufficient enough to pull a bullet through my brain
I can't seem to grasp onto happiness anymore
I think i'm ending this life, now for sure
As I take that last walk down the hall to my room
Suicide note in hand
I wish i'd never come out of the womb
Wish i'd never seen this land
I lay on my bed with a pillow over my head
Still not sure on what I'll do to make me dead
Contemplating how to make myself undone
When I come to realize that it's only begun
That I won't be able to pull through with it
I won't kill myself and i'll have to love it and live it
Live this life that's treated me so unkindly
I guess i'll wear the mask
You'll have to peel it just to find me
And this is all I ask,
As I hide behind my mask of happiness
Treat those I care for most, with all due kindliness.
i don't like being.
i don't like seeing.
i'd rather not hear.
i'd rather you were here.
i wish you'd take a second to reflect.
i wish you'd feel what your words reflect.
i only want for it to last.
i only want to be the last.
let's see what will be.
let's see what won't.
let's see.
or, can we?
i cant even see what's right in front of me.
will we sleep through the misty future?
will we slip out through the suture's?
another day, another night
and not a clue if what we do is wrong or right.
act upon our urges?
or think and then retract?
or do we combine both brain&wit
and continue doing it;
read & then react.
i forgot where i was going with this.
i forgot where i was going.
i forgot where i was.
i forgot i was.
i miss you,
even though that was never you.
i love you,
even though it was never true.
i wish you
could see all the damage done by a little white lie.
but i always
will be there for you in the blink of an eye
and never
expect me to say goodbye.
he paces and paces for days at a time
things will be fine
things will be fine.
but nothing's alright now. nothing's ok.
everything's falling. falling away.
Caffeine.
Cigarettes.
Sex.
They get me through the day.
Well, two out of three ain't bad.
My favourite photographer..
Danny Fresh- my brother in rhyme
ch-ch-check it out
