My name is Nathon Holder(Biological),Nico(K.C),Nhold/Holder(Lockwood). Naterz(Reserved;).)I lived in Lockwood M.O, I had Four real friends and multiple aquaintences. I then moved to K.C to my dads( It was a career decesion; worst decesion of my life), I not only lost my friend(Collin) but I wasn't there for any of my friends when they needed me most (Jerk.) I was thinking of myself too much and let everyone down and Im so sorry. Of course as life screws everyone in it I lost my dad (not physically.) All I ever wanted in life was to succeed and show everyone what I could do. People think Im smart, but Im just a good actor.I want to become a doctor.I moved to K.C to buy a car and do everything I could do to advance my career decision.I went there with everything and I left with nothing. No better yet less than nothing. I bought a car I worked hard for with no help at all! I got mad at my dad and T-boned a telephone pole. I got two tickets for it. I of course got more tickets for speeding, fenderbenders, and failing to yeild. While at the same time growing apart from my freinds, dad,other family, and no time for girls. And if you think that would be bad you didn't have to act like nothing happened. School wise I do well, I hate math bcz I suck at it and am one of those people who hate everything Im not good at which is alot.
I now currently live in Greenfield M.O, It wont last long, never does. I wanted a normal life like most kids have. You know like freakin over girls or figuring out what to wear, who to call, and who to date. But instead I have to worry about how to pay for college, where to live, and how to pay off my fines without going to jail and ruining my ambitions of becoming a doctor.
Now life isn't so terrible that i dont want to live it but it is hard. I want to be a doctor an athlete a freakin genuis and have the perfect girl. I try hard at these things. I started life late and have to suffer for it and I find that it is not fair but it doesn't change. I have learned soo many life lessons in the past year than most will their whole life but it wasn't free I had to pay for it and I did and still am. I wish some people knew what I know now. No person could live with this burden of knowledge. Now its not ecatistical and im not trying to act better than anyone. Think for a second of how your life is. Think of your friends. Think of the select few freinds who say they would die for you.Now narrow that down to the one who would actually do it, if you have one. Then think of the future. Do you think you are going to live together go to college get married and still be friends. And if you may be that lucky S.O.B that gets that far in life with your one true friend do you put your prioreties above thiers. What kind of friends do you have now? With time you will gain everything just to lose it all. As humans we have been given a curse the curse of knowledge. We are the only speicies in the entire universe that know that we will die someday. That alone is unthinkable to me. I dont want to grow up and get old. I was the only person that I could think of that didnt want to get my license or buy a car or grow up.
After all of this I think of myself as the luckiest person in the entire world because I know what is going to happen. Im not one of those dumbasses who believe I can survive on my own when Im old enough or believe my parents are capable of solving all my problems. For the first time in my life I realized that when I have a problem I can't solve and ask for my parents help, they are just as helpless as I.
HHHHAAAAA! now you know a little of what I worry about everyday.
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