Great Quotes from Pens and Swanny!
You know the inane "How does it feel?" questions sideline reporters are forced to ask after a team loses the Super Bowl? Back when Lynn Swann drew that duty, we always thought it would be great if he phrased it this way:
"How does it feel to lose a Super Bowl? No, the producer in the truck isn't telling me to ask you that question -- I really want to know. I mean, I played in the Super Bowl four times and we always won. When we were celebrating and dousing ourselves with champagne and singing and dancing and thinking about how this meant we would all go into the Hall of Fame, I always wondered how the other team felt. So, that's why I'm asking you now. How does it feel to lose the biggest game of your life? Pretty bad, I'm guessing.""Get into the fast lane grandma the bingo game is about to roll!"-Mike Lange"She wants to sell my monkey!"-Mike Lange"Michael,Michael,motorcycle!"-Mike Lange"Get that dog of my lawn"-Mike Lange"How much fried chicken can you eat?!"-Mike Lange"He picked his pocket like he was walking down 5th Avenue!"-Mike Lange"He dosen't know whether to cry or wind his watch!"-Mike Lange"Buy Sam a drink and his dog one to!"-Mike Lange"Oh no,Eddie Spaghetti!"-Mike Lange"Scratch my back with a hacksaw!"-Mike Lange"I don't order fries with my club sandwich."-Mario Lemieux on getting in shape for the upcoming season
"I play Defense."Ron francis answering a question on what his role will be on a line with Lemieux and Jagr
Goal Calls
Book 'em Dano.
Buy Sam a drink and get his dog one too.
Call Arnold Slick from Turtle Creek.
Get in the fast lane grandma, the bingo game is ready to roll.
Get that dog off my lawn.
Go ahead....Make My Day.
Great balls of fire.
Hallejulah Hollywood.
Heeeeeeeeeee shoots and scores.
He beat [goalie] like a rented mule.
He doesn't know whether to cry or wind his watch.
He's smiling like a butcher's dog.
How much fried chicken can you eat?
I'll be cow kicked.
Ladies and Gentleman, Elvis has just left the building.
Let's go hunt a moose on a Harley.
Look out Loretta.
Michael, Michael Motorcycle.
Never teach a pig to sing.
Oh no, Eddy Spaghetti.
Scratch my back with a hacksaw.
She wants to sell my monkey.
Stop the press.
Ten ho vykouril jako cigaretu. [Said in Czech.
Translation: He smoked him like a bad cigar.]
You ain't nothin' but a hound dog.
You would have to be here to believe it.
Misc Calls
And [player] takes the heat out of a hot kitchen.
And [goalie] says NO.
Believe me.
Big Ben struck one.
Buzzing like beeeeeeeeeees around a hive.
Great shot [optional: by forward name], but a better save
[optional: by goalie here]!
He could have had lunch and dinner too.
He forgot one thing....the puck.
He gave [goalie] more moves than Mae West.
[player] Hasn't scored since the eighth grade picnic.
He got his hand caught in the cookie jar.
He left [defenseman] on the parkway going to the airport.
He knocked [player] on his wallet.
He picked his pocket like he was walking down 5th avenue.
He's all over [player] like a new pair of shoes.
He should get 5 to 10 for robbery on that save.
He was hit so hard his kids will be born dizzy.
He would not be denied.
If you missed [whatever], shame on you for six weeks.
It's a hockey night in Pittsburgh.
It will take a miracle on Grant street for the [team]
to come back from this deficit.
[player, usually Lemieux] Is putting on the ritz.
More patience than Mercy Hospital.
[player] Is like a bulldozer in a construction yard.
[player] Joins the parade.
[player or team] Is throwing out checks like it is the first of the month.
Rebound...there is no rebound.
Sit back, relax, and enjoy the action.
The [team] is throwing everything but the kitchen sink.
The Pens are moving from left to right.
[or right to left] (for radio broadcasts)
The turkey is on the table.
Twinkled the twine.
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