Survival Tip # 1 :
When someone approaches you with blood smeared all over their face and pieces of shredded flesh dangling from their body save your self the time and DON'T run up to them in a panic going " OH MY GAWD!!! ARE YOU OKAY!? " It's pretty obvious they're not gonna respond with an " Oh, I'm just peachy! Thanks! How are you??"
-THEY - ARE- NOT - OKAY-
Survival Tip # 2
COMMON SENSE PEOPLE - avoid dark places! If you must go in the dark TAKE A LIGHT AND A GUN . No gun? Take an x-bf /gf - someone your willing to loose. Don't have one of those? Look up a hooker's number in the phone book. If your phone's disconnected just take your boss. Unemployed? Ha- what a loser , it's obvious your gonna die. Why the hell are you wasting the time to read this?
Survival Tip # 3
NO , It's not a good idea to Split up. Get a brain , you idiot.
Survival Tip # 4
If you've been bit by a vampire , or a zombie don't waist time with a first aid kit or looking for the vaccine. Your already screwed. And don't call 9-1-1 , chances are if any one there's still alive they wont answer the phone - or the pharametics'll probably put the bullet in your head for you.
Survival Tip # 5
When you hear something strange out in the woods at night , use your brain. Don't go out there screaming " HELLO!? HELLO!? " That's like running out and yelling " HEY! I'M OVER HERE! COME KILL ME! "
Survival Tip # 6
In a group of people always draw straws to see who walks around the dark corner first.
Survival Tip # 7
A CIGARETTE IS NOT GOING TO SAVE YOU - GOT THAT? - IS NOT!
Survival Tip # 8
REMEMBER THE GOLDEN RULE : Treat people the way you want to be treated . ( Because the person you mistreat might have friends)
Survival Tip # 9
JUST SKIP THE FUCKING SEX SCENE! You know you make a lot of noise that draws attention to yourself - DO YOU WANT TO BE KILLED?
Survival tip # 10
"OH GOD! IT'S FINALLY OVER! AND I'M NOT DEAD!! " - save that line. There's gonna be a sequel. And you'll probably die.
My pirate name is:
Mad Jenny Vane
Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. You tend to blend into the background occaisionally, but that's okay, because it's much easier to sneak up on people and disembowel them that way. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
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