i'm the classiest lady you'll ever find. i don't burp. i don't spit. i never sit with my legs open. (none of you overeager boys are gonna grab MY crotch!) i have subtle laughs and discrete sneezes; no one likes obnoxious girls. i'm very aware of what others think of me and definitely wouldn't dare lick my fingers while eating. i don't drink that alcohol stuff, especially the hard liquor (BLECH). i very much dislike getting dirty, OR wet. i'm not frivolous or playful; why would anyone ever think of punching someone in their ass??? i'm a prude. if you make any kind of sexual referrences in my presence, i'll be inclined to give you a little slap across your foul mouth. (you say 'tantric' and i'll shoot you.) true ladies, like myself, know that the omission of wearing undergarments is simply not acceptable. i have no tolerance for flatulence and swear words or any other form of vile behavior. i won't dance with you unless you're standing three boner-lengths away...er, i mean...distant from my person...you are all bloody heathens, and i am not.
i've always considered myself to be an androgynous being. realizing this, i seek the same quality in a potential mate. i am female, physically, but androgynous in spirit. so when i find the one person with whom i will spend my life, we will actually be 4 people, not 2.
it will be monogamous polygamy!
no joke, i really am that brilliant.
My Skydiving Adventure!