Against all my inclinations
I took that one breath
the moment when you breath
right before it all happens
what is to come
you can only guess
but what you hope to come
you know with unmatched certainty
As you hold your breath
everything happens to fast
it slips through your hands
and you quickly realize
you have no control
you are at the mercy of life
and the hands of the one you
have decided to blindly trust
the pain and hurt of those before
quickly become faint whispers
as you become obsessed with the future
and in that one breath
you begin to fall
the warmth found in his arms
the delicacy of his skin
the calm you can now only reach
with the touch of his lips
the ecstasy he creates
as he pulls me close
holding me tight
my body screams for him
to explore ever crevice
to awaken my senses
and set my entire body on fire
running my hands through his hair
passionately locking our lips together
a moment I beg to never end
as if I have taken a bite
of a poison apple
how I wish I could have the peace
that Snow White felt in a never-ending sleep
but I continue to fall
and now I must catch my breath
I was hoping that I would finally exhale
as I got lost in the beauty of his eyes
but instead
as if I have fallen from a building top
as I hit the cold hard concrete
with the sheer force
that I wish would simply kill me
the pain as cold as ice
as if a stake has pieced my heart
reality quickly kicks me as I am down
my body scream out in agony
begging me to finally exhale
my anger can no longer be contained
and I scream out releasing my every emotion
as the oxygen fills my lungs
my heart beats as if it will jump out of my chest
I begin to blame myself
for putting myself yet again in such a venerable state
as I look up
I realize that you pushed me
you were scared
you were confused
and you were weak
you pushed me away
it was easier than being honest with yourself
but I survived
and now you are left alone
on top of that building
with only your demons and insecurities
to haunt you
and in you breaking me
I was forced to heal myself
to face my fears
and confront my demons
I have only grown
and because of you
I am now better prepared
to handle what will be thrown
at me next
..
..Who am I... that is something I'm rediscovering. It's strange how you think you can really know yourself and yet life throughs you through a loop whole and you find yourself once again rediscovering life. I'm in a transitional period right now. Rediscovering who I am, what I what and were I'm going. Forget the 10 year plan... just living everyday as it comes.
