Rob profile picture

Rob

About Me

In high school, I was fat. I worked at McDonald's and used to eat two Big Macs, a large fry, and a six piece nugget with a large vanilla milkshake to wash it down every day at work. Then I discovered crack. The best thing that ever happened to me. Sure, my teeth are all black and rotted out, but all I have to do is suck the occasional dick or rob an unsuspecting elderly tourist and I have plenty to get me through the day. Seriously, crack rules.

Click here to get Believe It Or Not at EZ-Tracks.com

My Interests

For the past few weeks, I've turned to liquid entertainment on many an evening.

I'd like to meet:

I want to meet someone who smiles a lot, because apparently, I look pissed off all the time and hopefully some of the sunshine will rub off.

If you don't know the difference between then and than, or if you rAndOMlY capitalize letters, please contact me, so I can make fun of you.

Nice people...once again, I likely need help in this area.

Music:

the jesus and mary chain, the velvet underground, tiger army, leonard cohen, bob marley, steely dan, pink floyd, gun club, hasil adkins, weezer, antibalas, mazzy starr, opal, yo la tengo, my bloody valentine, the jon spencer blues explosion, chris isaak, the pixies, bob dylan, prince, johnny cash, journey, tom waits, paul simon, violent femmes, talking heads, boston, the doors, joy division, bruce springsteen, against me!, the blast rocks!, carter the unstoppable sex machine, eric clapton, echo and the bunnymen, cowboy junkies, elliot smith, ween, hank williams III, Jethro tull, john coltrane, miles davis, neil young, primus, portishead, the misfits, the stray cats, the beatles, the bouncing souls, patsy cline, the house of love, the reverend horton heat, the who, the white stripes, SHATNER!, and the list goes on...

Movies:

Some movies I own: The 'Burbs, Pi, Strange Brew, Ghost World, Home Movies: Season 1, High Fidelity, Grosse Pointe Blank, Fight Club, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Reservoir Dogs, Family Guy (every season), Futurama (the same thing), Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Orange County, Lost in Translation, Say Anything, The Meaning of Life, The Life of Brian, Aqua Teen Hunger Force (every volume), The Lost Boys, They Live, Dead Alive, Bad Taste, True Romance, The Big Lebowski, Dr. Strangelove, or: How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb, Better off Dead, Heavenly Creatures, The Graduate, Kingpin, Rushmore, Officespace, The Goonies, Conan (both), This is Spinal Tap, Aliens, Alien, Cabin Boy, Meet the Feebles, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Royal Tenenbaums, Blade Runner, SLC Punk, Phantasm, Pulp Fiction, The Usual Suspects, Ronin, Tombstone, Death Race 2000, Bad Santa, Clerks, and many more...

Television:

I have rabbit ears right now, so I watch very little.

Books:

Well, I only get two channels on the television, so the written word fills my day.

Heroes:

The Greatest American

My Blog

Lame kids from UVA

So I passed through Charlottesville and visited a friend last Friday, and even that short visit reminded me of all the lame ass people I met while there.  Of course I met a few cool ones, but unf...
Posted by Rob on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

The tale of the coprophagous husky

His name was Wussel, my roommate's dog of a month, and I thought him cool until he shat from his mouth in the kitchen, and the bathroom, and in the living room in front of the wicker chair that stood ...
Posted by Rob on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

OK, so I'm a dork...

and I went to see the new Star wars last night.  For the majority of the movie I thought "Wow, George Lucas didn't ruin another movie." But then the last thirty minutes happened, and once again h...
Posted by Rob on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Grass

I needed something to do during the week I am at home, so I decided to plant a garden and I had to clear out about 450 square feet of turf by hand. Yay! Hopefully, I won't destroy my new friends and I...
Posted by Rob on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

The roommate from hell, part 2

Vincents roommate wasted little time replacing the milk; within hours of the incident, he returned to the room with another gallon. Vincent watched incredulously as his roommate immediate...
Posted by Rob on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Worst song ever="Holla Back Girl"

I had the "privilege" of hearing this song in its entirety in the cafeteria today, and I must say that it is just plain bad, and it has knocked the milkshake song out from its position at the head of ...
Posted by Rob on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I bought some hash...

from Osama bin Laden in Madagascar. He met us in an alley to make the transaction, and even gave us a ride back to the hotel afterwards. What a swell guy. The hash was in a Hershey bar wrapper and i...
Posted by Rob on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

The roommate from hell, part 1

Vincent sat at his computer, aimlessly clicking his mouse on link after link, exploring lives and events, while the incessant rambling of ESPN commentators intruded from the side of filth, into his bu...
Posted by Rob on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

My roommate has no taste

He watches 3 channels: ESPN, MTV, and VH1. He likes Ashley Simpson's music. He wears concealer (that doesn't prove anything, but I think it's hilarious). He looks at me like I am crazy when I make ...
Posted by Rob on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

emo me

Apparently, negativity isn't attractive. Or is it? Is being a wuss cool? I have a friend with a dog named Wussel, and it's cool. Should I be all emotional and talk about my feelings and walk around...
Posted by Rob on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST