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oh bijou =(
N.O.R.a.H.
tryin to rebuild maself
but I dont know myself anymore.
My beloved horse left me the 14th Septembet 07 because of his serious injuries due to a tragic accident.
When u build ur life on something special, and u do everything u can for this, in my case, Kaba, u don't even dare to imagine what would it be like when it disappeared.
My worst nightmare came true.
And yes, I changed.
I begin to be rather nihilistic than anything else. and you ask urself why...
Well, let me explain. For me, I did everything possible to do a good job with this horse and I really loved him. I tried to help eveyone and do my best... So why, when dere is a god, why did he allow this to happen?
Noone can explain... noone.
So far, my conclusion is that there is nothing u can call a god. really nothing, dont try to prove me, dere isnt.
"We must question the story of logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God,
who creates faulty Humans, then blames them for his own mistakes."
Well, I never believed in that "God", but I thing I believed in something. Something superior.so far, I changed.
I'm not sure if my personality changed, but I'm far away from the image being a nice and happy girl. Nooo, not Emo or Gothic now, neither depressed or unhappy, but a lot more critical for sure. So, sorry when I hurted you, but, ger used to it.
... Everyone tells me that there is sth good in everything, but, sorry, could u explain me the good in this? Or that there is hope? Sorry, since dis year I dont know the word hope anymore.
I wished it would be easier but it isnt.
Wei absurd as et, daat grad daat geschitt, wat een am meeschten fäert?
We can't change history but we can change the future, they say.
Well, where's the truth in that?