Ellen profile picture

Ellen

The Sauce Without the Blame

About Me

I'm a walking paradox striding toward my own truth and learning what it means to follow my bliss or die not trying. Either way, I have the dying part down cold. "Someday you will ache like I ache."

My Interests

sushi/dive/karaoke/cereal... bars, avoiding discombobulation (knowing how to deal when it happens), writing/scribbling on napkins, reciprocity, positive transference, random somethingness, good vibes, singing on key, flashes of brilliance, nuance, tangents, sense that isn't so common, psychology, stories of all kinds, what's behind those eyes?

I'd like to meet:

Friendly fiends; neurotic angels; beautiful people with depth and passion; pop-culture whores; those that can make me laugh so hard I pee my pants. Come, let me love you.

Music:

TORI AMOS, jewel, sarah mclachlan, ani difranco, portishead, imogen heap, howie day, U2, spooky tooth, the killers, 30 seconds to mars, disturbed, the cure, modest mouse, franz ferdinand, nirvana, the cranberries, alanis morissette, no doubt, k's choice, incubus, rachael yamagata, system of a down, green day, evanescence, depeche mode, duran duran, poe, tegan and sara, shakira, carmen consoli, josh groban, mazzy star, esthero, norah jones, LiVE, HIM, the scorpions, korn, joni mitchell, journey, jimmy eat world, cursive, pj harvey, metallica, 80's (big hair bands like bon friggin' jovi, old skool, freestyle), siouxie & the banshees, die laughing, and other assorted gothiness

Movies:

the english patient, three colours trilogy: (blue/didn't care for white/red), before sunrise, before sunset, the fifth element, benny & joon, wuthering heights, garden state, amelie, buffalo 66, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, talk to her, the devil's backbone, edward scissorhands, what's eating gilbert grape, amores perros, the ghoulies, but i'm a cheerleader, lost in translation, american beauty, napoleon dynamite, the exorcist, love actually, two weeks notice, four weddings and a funeral, little miss sunshine, phenomenon, face/off, high fidelity, like water for chocolate, through a glass darkly, weird science, lucas, stand by me, v for vendetta, brokeback mountain, silence of the lambs, the house of the spirits, donnie darko, moonlight mile, riding in cars with boys, matchstick men, adaptation, gia, girl interrupted, foxfire, magnolia, the rules of attraction, one flew over the cuckoo's nest, evil dead, requiem for a dream, the craft, slc punk, mommie dearest, kill bill series, I know you love it when I list movies like mad, admit it!...

Television:

grey's anatomy, desperate housewives, alias, LOST, buffy, american idol, rockstar _________, pbs (i.e.: globe trekker, masterpiece theatre, huell howser sometimes, cooking shows especially with that bald Italian lady), Oprah, the price is right, amc,oltl

Books:

anthem, the lovely bones, poetry by emily dickinson/edgar allan poe/pablo neruda, running with scissors, dress your family in corduroy and denim, choke, veronika decides to die, the alchemist, the celestine prophecy, schtuff by joseph campbell and jeanette winterson

Heroes:

dorkus malorkuses that are true of heart.

My Blog

Themes of yesterday, all my troubles seem not so far away (but manageable)...

who knew iceberg lettuce could taste good again? mediocre haikus under pressure about COURAGE. crayons that were happy they got to color the psyche. the horrors of internet dating. the creepiness fact...
Posted by Ellen on Mon, 10 Apr 2006 04:13:00 PST

LiveJournal Style.

I am bobbing up and down in this Sea of Doubt for what is my millionth bout + Oh, I don't keep count anymore like some OCD fer-eek = You might think I'm dead because I show up in your dreams like a pa...
Posted by Ellen on Wed, 05 Apr 2006 12:36:00 PST

Ready steady.

When I woke up this morning, I didn't have a job, not one that paid me money anyway. But, I went to an orientation/training and now I do. Great how these things work out. All I had to do was show up a...
Posted by Ellen on Mon, 27 Feb 2006 11:36:00 PST

A List: A-List

Current Objectives:   -Blocking Writer's Block. It's working, but it's a 'doesn't-happen-overnight' sorta thing, which is okay by me... until it's not. I even wrote an unfinished poem two nights ...
Posted by Ellen on Thu, 16 Feb 2006 07:37:00 PST

Therapize me.

I called several therapists this afternoon to set up a session. I have two appointments, one is set for the 14th (how sad is that?), but I'm thinking of cancelling. I really didn't take her serio...
Posted by Ellen on Fri, 10 Feb 2006 05:38:00 PST

It gets harder and harder...

ya know, LIFE.  
Posted by Ellen on Sat, 04 Feb 2006 08:28:00 PST

FU-tiiiiiile.

Resistance is the new/old black, but pay close attention -- the blue I wear is really red.
Posted by Ellen on Wed, 16 Nov 2005 04:47:00 PST

Kamikaze

Disgust has become an absolute in a world where there are no guarantees. I dare you to fuck with me. I'll make it worth your while, chumps.    ...
Posted by Ellen on Sun, 13 Nov 2005 12:28:00 PST

Halloween Birthday

I'm never going to WeHo for Halloween ever again no matter whose birthday it is. I really don't feel like walking a mini-marathon to cut through the ghoulish masses to get a drink or seeing a poor gir...
Posted by Ellen on Wed, 02 Nov 2005 10:02:00 PST

Oh-me-oh-my, oh why!!

Damn, I'm slippin' when I'd rather be slidin'. No, no, I take that back... I'd rather be coastin'. Draft #1 of my research paper was returned to me today. I have to make a few minor corrections,...
Posted by Ellen on Sun, 09 Oct 2005 06:53:00 PST