There is something very special about the human race. I can’t exactly put my finger on what it is, but I’m sure after this you’ll be able to get the point. In every other species there is little or no activity that is not spent surviving. Only a few species even experience fun. Only a few dozen even have any emotions that we can observe. We are so much more complex it is hard to imagine that we are even still animals like everybody else because we are so far advanced.
We are so advanced that we do things that have absolutely nothing with survival. In fact, very little of what we do has to do with survival. Everything is about advancement. We can’t get enough of it. Because we don’t have to spend our time surviving we can do superfluous things that we dedicate our lives to in modern society. Such things include school, fashion, business, exercise, religion, history, language, art, government, entertainment; you can go on for a long time about all the things that are unneeded.
Many things we only “need†because of how advanced we are. If we didn’t live together, we wouldn’t need government or business. If we didn’t feel the need to teach our children everything that every scholar ever learned, we wouldn’t need school. We wouldn’t need fashion if we didn’t have such advanced clothes. We wouldn’t need exercise if we were busy using our bodies to catch food. We wouldn’t need entertainment if we weren’t so bored not surviving. We wouldn’t need history if we didn’t have language with which to tell stories, and language is just a little something that makes surviving easier…so I guess we do need language.
One might ask themselves: why do we strive for advancement? All animals have what are called instincts to help them survive. Some instincts might suggest you go for the neck; some might make you really want to eat that one particular plant. The human instinct says, “Do it better.†We are always saying, “That is much too difficult. We must find a way to make that easier.†Humans have been doing that since we started out. This self-improvement is called science. We use it all the time to make our lives easier. It allows for all of those superfluous luxuries we have to thrive.
This DRIVE that humans tend to have helps us grow and develop into adult advancing machines. This drive keeps us going. The only problem is we don’t want to go the wrong way. That is why we require religion. Although it is not needed to survive, it is needed for eternal salvation. We need to make sure in our effort to advance and better ourselves, we do not forget the Lord.
“Throughout the entire journey there is opportunity for learning and growth and development toward the final goal. We see some people who merely travel without road maps to guide them, they just travel along the way and … pick up such things as will please the eye…And when the end of it draws nigh they have traveled but are little if any closer to their proper destination than when they started. Regrettably, some have totally lost their way.â€
---Spencer W. Kimball
The Miracle of Forgiveness
We need to learn how to control that human fire. Some people do it in different ways. Some people get it from racing, some get it from money, some get it from sexual high, some get it from drugs, some get it from competition, and some people get it from many other things. As you can see from this list, it is very important to use our fire righteously. It is human nature to want many things that are forbidden by God. There are also many positive ways to control our fire. These might include, singing, art, music, and service—even going out to dinner. We need to make sure that our fire gets a positive outlet and not a destructive one. The Lord provides a great way to let it out. Humans need to let it out.
Merrill, I don’t know why I’m thinking of this and it doesn’t really have a lot to do with your letter, but it has all to do with the way we treat people who have made decisions that they’ll regret. It’s so hard to see someone you love making terrible decisions. It ruins your relationship with them, their relationship with their parents, their street cred, and their lives as a whole.
As I’m sitting here writing this letter I can see many insects crawling around outside the window. There are a lot of bugs there. Always have been. (They’re attracted to the light) they walk in the same places that bugs have walked for decades. They get attracted in and lured towards the light and they somehow find their way in. They can never find their way out. They just sit there and die and the next round of bugs comes in and crawls all over them.
This is the way the devil attracts people into addictive behaviors. Sometimes, especially from far away, you are drawn to this thing that looks attractive and you keep getting closer and closer until you can see all the destruction around you. It affects everybody negatively and you can see this, but by now you think you want it so bad so you go inside anyway and you see all the gruesomeness around you and you just forget about and walk over it, like Satan is walking all over you. Now that you’re inside, you realize that you’re going to die and you want to get out. It’s too late and you’ll be stuck in there and die with the other scum.
On the bright side of things, however, (excuse the pun) fireflies are different; they’re just something else. They are smaller and more able bodied than the moths or the mosquitoes, and they’re a little bit smarter, too. They can get out. The only thing is that they can’t look back. The real question is if you are a firefly, flexible and able to spring back into life; or are you a moth that is easily drawn in and unable to escape?
I know that I am a moth. I’ve known it all my life. I so easily fall into pits of addiction. I am very impulsive: unable to control myself. I have a thought and I go through with it. I will have second thoughts and I won’t care anymore. One of the things I do care about is a friend. I value a relationship more than anything I can think of. It is very important to me to have healthy relationships in all my interactions with people.
Sometimes this can be difficult. My girlfriend and I have these two friends that haven’t been making good decisions. It was very hard for us to be told in the morning about the night before and the destructive behavior that went .. a while it got ridiculous and we decided to discontinue our relationship with our two friends. It was getting too much for us to handle. We talked about it for the longest time until we just stopped meeting them in the morning. We kind of let them know that we didn’t agree with what they were doing (which they knew) and that we couldn’t take it anymore.
My girlfriend and I would talk about it all the time. We would talk about how sad it was that they were throwing their lives away. It got to a point where I felt horrible about what we had done to them. I felt that I couldn’t even try to befriend them because my girlfriend wouldn’t agree and we’d very possibly break up. I know that I have to treat them like they could change. I always have to think that people can change because then I wouldn’t have faith in myself or many other people. We have to be able to change.
That is how I feel about it. We need to still be there for them because in those times of addiction you need someone to pull you out. I was so proud of my girlfriend when we saw our friends on the beach earlier today (I guess that was yesterday by now) and she just sat down and talked to them. It meant so much to me that we are going to be friends with them again. The way we were handling it would not have solved anything. We just need to get over that barrier into the realm of “talking freely about destructive decisions.†We just need to have a good sit-down with them and tell them how we feel. It is the only way I know to solve our problem.
Another relationship I value is with my friend Taylor. When I got into high school my first year, Taylor and I got along fine and we were soon friends. Unfortunately for me, this was also the time when I made a lot of bad decisions. I think it had an effect on Taylor. I really liked being friends with him because he had standards and values similar to the ones that I should have had. I really was the one who ruined it because I was ruining my own life and Taylor got this image of me that I think he still has.
Since then, I have changed so much and Taylor doesn’t even know very well because we aren’t friends like we were before. This summer, though, we are doing some work together and we will be able to befriend each other once again. It will be nice to really be able to sit down with him and talk about what happened without the awkwardness of people all around.
The most important relationship in my worldly life has to be with my family. Somebody has told us that it is intimidating to be around my family because there is so much love. I think we really have something special that other families (even within the church) don’t have. We all love each other so much. And now that we are all grown up, the little disagreements we had as children aren’t there so we get along supremely. I have so much fun with my family. There is never a moment that I am bored with them, or that I don’t want to be around them. I can always come to the house and know that there will always be that love there and someone will always want me here. I love it. It wasn’t always that way and it definitely isn’t that way in other people’s houses. The teen years are very important in the development of anyone and I have to say that mine have been wonderful because of the love in our household.
Now I suppose I have to address at least a little bit of what you were talking about in your last letter. As I was reading it, I realized that my sister would have found it incredibly fascinating. She, being the president of the Democratic Party at her college, would have found your insight into the Swett family very appealing. (She used to work for Dick) I think I might send her a few parts of it so she can see what a cool guy you are. I thought your opinions were very interesting.
At my age, while I am making very important decisions that will affect the rest of my life, I need divine guidance that I think has to come from a patriarchal blessing. I have decided to move in the direction of linguistics because I am good at it and I have always loved it. I would hate to not get my patriarchal blessing after school started when all the courses I’m taking are linguistic, only to find out that my patriarchal blessing says I should take a more political course. By then it would be too late for the necessary guidance.
There is no good way to end this letter… so I’ll just end it
When is it that you can feel proud of yourself? You can try hard to perfect yourself, but what makes you PROUD of yourself. There are different types of pride, I suppose. I do not want to be proud of myself; I do not think I’m better than anybody else. (At least that is what I want to think) I want to feel good about myself. I want to wake up in the morning and feel good for living another day. I want to enjoy life. I do not want pleasure, but happiness. I do not know what I want. My sister is getting married in May. What if I’m not worthy to get a temple recommend when she gets married? What will happen to me? What will she think, or even more important: What would God think?
“Last summer at youth conference, I changed a lot. Bro. Anderson gave amazing talks. He introduced me to Joseph Smith that day. I never had felt the spirit so strongly. I looked at great happy men like Bro. Anderson, Bro. Black, Bro. Williams, Bro. Hunting and many more. They live righteously and are happy, worthy, successful priesthood holders. I realized then that I wanted to be just like them. I saw what would happen to me if I continued in the paths I was taking. I did not like it at all. And suddenly, my whole world changed. I stopped sinning. I was on top of a spiritual mountain. I had one of those one-on-one moments with God. I felt the spirit so strongly, that I seemed to float up to the very heavens and bathe in the Father's love. Nothing else in the world mattered, but all at the same time, it all mattered so much more.Isaiah 55:8-9
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, saith the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts"Truly God is higher than all beings for anything that can make me feel so elated like I was at the temple must be great.
I went there with my sister Johanna. We did baptisms for the dead. The spirit was there. Waiting for our turn, we decided to sing hymns. O, how we sang! I sang as if what I was singing was the most beautiful thing in the universe, and it was! What could be grander than praising the Lord? Then, Johanna and I were called to go. I did not know what to expect. We were by ourselves and there was nothing but a conduit of His love and emotion without words between the Lord and us. I went into the room to be confirmed for the dead and I felt a connection of joy from the other side. I knew each and every one of those spirits on the other side was extremely grateful that I had worked so hard to mount my spiritual Everest.Isaiah 1:18:
"Come now let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though the be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."Then I moved on to the baptismal font. As I thought of the spirits on the other side my eyes were a river and the water inside was the love of God and his son Jesus Christ!
Now as I recount these things to my Journal, my testimony has grown much stronger. However, soon after my experience at the temple, I went on a sea-kayaking trip with non-member scouts from So. Berwick. As I crashed into the real world I fell not like a rock, but like a tree: I fell so incredibly fast, yet over a lengthy second for I had such a distance to fall. Once I was fallen, there seemed no chance of me ever having the sweet south wind rush through my boughs ever again
And here I stand. I was worthy and happy for a little over a week. I fell into depression. The sadder I got, the more I sinned, and the more I sinned, the sadder I got. I can always turn to my good friend The Book of Mormon. (I somehow always feel the spirit more when I read it vs. the Bible) I do not understand how anyone could ever call Joseph Smith a crackpot or a lunatic. Even if he were, how dare anyone say so when you look at what the effects were? Today over 12 million have had the true God in their lives. Today, billions have benefited from welfare. Long ago, a legend was made about the faithful pioneers and settlers.--I was so happy. I wanted to share this happiness with everybody... Like Crab Rangoon (vs. Lo Mein)
We ran. We found no inhibitions. We ran. We fell. Our Water source was stanched and we became paralyzed. I promised my companion that we wold cling to our beleaguered state until the end of time. We relished our condition and still ran. We ran to the west. Yet, we were in some way parted and we still ran, in different places, but still to the West. In my new western hom, I thrived and I discovered the futility of my paralytic manner. I retaught my leg to walk slowly and by and by worked my way to a new direction. Eventually I ran east towards the rising sun with all my might, occasionally looking back to the West. AS the sun rose, I felt it’s warmth on my face, and I forgot the West and I bathed in the beautiful warmth of the light. Now I have warm companions, more companions, better companions that keep me running toward the light, that pull me on to glory. Sill, my new companions urged me on. In my dash to the East, to the sun, I came upon a very long, steep hill. There were now many runners in a large ephemeral race to the sun. I saw many go up the hill. I called to Maestro. My plea was answered swiftly. Maestro said to me: “Catch up to the black uniform!†My new antagonist clothed like the night was my ultimate goal to reach. We ran. I worked my legs up the incline with all my might, nothing in my mind save meeting my enemy. At long last, I did reach the end of the precipitous chore, and my exhaustion overwhelmed me. For the first time in a long time, I stopped running. I collapsed on the earth and I gave up all hope. I was Finally rescued by non other than a knight in black armor. Surely, with my newfound hero I would reach the sun. I was at this time that I learned something difficult to take in. My old companion whom I had loved clinged so hard to the paralytic rock in the West that he met the setting sun and has been lying in the night where no one can reach him. One last time, I looked to the West and I saw no life, I saw no joy, I saw no freedom, I saw no love, I saw no Light. I looked again to the East and I grabbed the hand of Beneficence. Therefore I found that which I thought my nemesis, was indeed my savior, and that which I once thought friend was at the end of a journey on a far Western mountain. One day I will reach the end of a long Journey where the sea ebbs and blows before the light. I know that I will not reach it if I face the West. At the eastern sea will I meet my solace, there I will understand. And there will I stop running
SURVEYS SUCK!!!
This is what happens to you if you get on my bad side:Wake Up
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