Ivy profile picture

Ivy

I'll get you, my pretty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

About Me

My sister, dad and I were discussing possible occupations if we were born in the 19th century. My sister decided she could be a good seamstress, because she's good at needlepoint. My dad said he'd be a carpenter because he likes fixing up houses and working with wood. Then they decided that I'd be absolutely useless, because I can't cook, clean, sew, or teach. Finally, my dad said in a really serious voice, "You could be a witch. You're thin, have long black hair, a screechy voice, and you cackle." I asked him how I'd make a living. "Oh you know, casting spells, things like that." I wish he was kidding, but he really wasn't. Which, I suppose, says everything you need to know about me.

My Interests

Ballet, opera, movies, getting my cat to love me. Collecting pirated ballet and opera videos. Shoes. Dogs. It's sort of dorky, but perhaps my biggest hobby is writing Amazon reviews. I want to be a Top 500 reviewer -- so far I'm at 705.

I'd like to meet:

Bill O'Reilly, so I can tell him to f__k off. Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter for similar reasons. Will Ferrell and Conan O'Brien because I'm sure they'd be funny, and Bill Clinton, just because I love the sound of him talking. Jon Stewart so we can make fun of GWB. As for dating, I'd like to find a guy who shares my sense of humor and likes dogs. Being tall and good-looking would be a plus. My idea measure of a good relationship is if laughter is constant. Humorless people really scare me. You must share my disgust for granny panties and nude pantyhose, as well as the ultimate sin: sandals and pantyhose. And again, you must like dogs.

Music:

Anything but Creed, Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, and Ashlee Simpson/HilaryDuff/LindsayLohan and all the talentless "pop" bimbos.

Movies:

I like too many movies to name, but I love screwball comedieirs, Japanese cinema, Hitchcock, and many of the classics, so my tv is often set to Turner Classic Movies. Forbidden Games made me cry buckets. I adore Disney animated cartoons, from Bambi (cried) to Finding Nemo (cried again). But on the other hand I also loved Wedding Crashers and Old School so I'm not a total film snob. Also, Ingmar Bergman: Most. Overrated. Director. Ever.

Television:

Survivor, The Amazing Race, Sopranos, Big Love, Turner Classic Movies, PBS documentaries. I hate anything on Fox News, and would pay good money to see Ann Coulter shot on national tv.

Books:

I like biographies, Jane Austen, depressing poetry like Emily Dickinson and Sylvia Plath. I also like coffee table books of ballet dancers. At the supermarket I always sneak looks at InTouch to check out the latest on Kfed, Brit, and Brangelina.

Heroes:

FDR, for overcoming great physical adversity and being probably the greatest president the U.S. has ever had. Bill Clinton for being a great speechmaker. Lyndon Johnson for starting so many social insurance programs. Jimmy Carter, for being a decent conscientious politician (how rare is that?). Ballet dancers for working so incredibly hard to make it seem incredibly easy. Johnny Cash, for holding concerts in prisons. My dog Cricket, for being sweet, funny, and kind to kids. And last but not least, my mom.

My Blog

Best Player Not to Win Survivor: Season 8

Season 8: All-Stars SurvivorBest Player Not to Win: Rob MarianoWhy Was He Great?Rob Mariano in Marquesas said, "Fear keeps people loyal. That's straight out of the Godfather, and it's true." For ...
Posted by Ivy on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 07:32:00 PST

Survivor Thailand

Well last night I won the first online game I've ever played, which was Matt's Survivor Thailand. I played Erin, and I won 7-0 over Brian. It was really eventful, you can read it here. But anyway, fr...
Posted by Ivy on Thu, 07 Dec 2006 08:03:00 PST

Best Player Not to Win Survivor: Season 7

Season 7: Pearl Islands Best Player Not to Win: Jonny Fairplay Why Was He Great? Fairplay is often compared to RobC, and while I think the comparison is apt that both players were cunning scheme...
Posted by Ivy on Tue, 05 Dec 2006 01:14:00 PST

Best Player Not to Win Survivor: Season 6

Season 6: AmazonBest Player Not to Win: Rob CesterninoWhy Was He Great?Because he absolutely revolutionized the way to play Survivor. During the first five seasons of Survivor, strategy had been ...
Posted by Ivy on Fri, 01 Dec 2006 10:06:00 PST

Best Player Not to Win Survivor: Season 5

Season 5: Thailand Best Player Not to Win: Clay Jordan Why Was He Great? In this case, "great" is a relative term, as Thailand was so completely dominated by one player (Brian), that I almost co...
Posted by Ivy on Tue, 28 Nov 2006 01:16:00 PST

Best Player Not to Win: Season 4

Season 4: Marquesas Best Player Not to Win: Kathy Mavrick O'Brien Why Was She Great? Kathy went from being a thorn in the side of the "love tribe" to the undisputed power player when she enginee...
Posted by Ivy on Tue, 21 Nov 2006 06:59:00 PST

Best Player Not to Win Survivor: Season 3

Season 3: Africa Best Player Not to Win: Teresa Cooper Why Was She Great? Teresa had many traits of great "under the radar" players -- she was genuinely pleasant and well-liked by all. But she was al...
Posted by Ivy on Sun, 19 Nov 2006 10:14:00 PST

Best Player Not to Win Survivor: Season 2

Season Two: Outback Best Player to Not Win: Colby Donaldson Why Was He Great? Because for 39 days, Colby played an almost perfect game. He outwit, REALLY outplayed (was perhaps the biggest...
Posted by Ivy on Tue, 14 Nov 2006 01:04:00 PST

Best Player that Didn't Win of Each Season

Best Player That Didn't Win of Each Season   Every year Survivor fans try to "rank" winners in order of greatness. And I tried rankings a few times, and found the task impossible, because every s...
Posted by Ivy on Fri, 10 Nov 2006 01:34:00 PST

Whoa I was too pessimistic

I stayed up until about 2 last night. Watching the Virginia race was like watching the 2004 ALCS. I obsessive-compulsively hit 'refresh' on the CNN returns page, and Allen kept leading and leading, ex...
Posted by Ivy on Wed, 08 Nov 2006 09:06:00 PST