Far be it from me to deny you the pleasure of my origin story. Hey, I'm magnanimous like that.
Nearly thirty years ago, top thinkers and scientists from around the world pooled their collective intellects toward one common goal: The creation of the One True Douchebag.
(...as to what the world stood to gain from yet another hopelessly self-absorbed wanker, none can say.)
Splicing the genetic material of Spaulding Gray, Machiavelli, Gramtie, Hunter S. Thompson and Thurl Ravenscroft (the voice of Tony the Tiger), their amalgamation(tentatively named, "Oh my god, someone stop me before I kill this asshole") was brought into being, but soon proved to be beyond their control. These great men, realizing the possibly disastrous consequences should their creation be loosed upon the world, chose to render him harmless by programming him to require cheap liquor, karaoke and validation through dominance of largely-inconsequential pub quizzes.
Thus was mankind spared their folly.
...
I've got some quiz results here for your lowest-common-denominating ass to recognize. I used to be disappointed that no one was up to the task of outdoing me in the Knowledge vs. Intellect Test, but in light of fairly-recent events, I've since concluded that I am one peerless sonofabitch. Bask in the glow of my awesomeness. BASK, FUCKERS! BASK, I SAY!
...
...hey, where are you going?
...aww, Now I'm lonely.
My score on... The Knowledge vs. Intellect Test :
9/9 Genius
(You are 82% knowledgable and 88% intellectual.)
Amazing! You have an incredible brain (intellect) and a powerhouse of information (knowledge)! Keep up the impressive work-- we all bow to you.
Link : The Knowledge vs. Intellect Test
View My Profile:
( OkCupid Free Online Dating )
My score on... The What's Your Signature Weapon Test :
Orbital Laser
(You preferred a weapon with 76% power over speed and 87% range over melee.)
http://is0.okcupid.com/users/100/498/1004999222958243423/mt1 112012985.jpg
You use an Orbital Laser. Getting into an actual battle is a sign that you've failed. No, you need to be in your villa in South America, sipping a cup of coffee as you press the button that will annihilate the enemy stronghold. Your enemies will never know who sent the death from above, but none will wonder-- they'll all be dead.
Link : The What's Your Signature Weapon Test
View My Profile:
( OkCupid Free Online Dating )