Back when I was young we didn't have your fancy clumping cat litter, or your fancy pants whisker lickens. You had to walk uphill in seven foot snow drifts in order to gut your mouse, and that's the way we liked it!
A Survey for Pets!
What type of pet are you? Are you implying I'm not people?
What is your name? Ole Holmes
What other nicknames do you have? N'ole, Catno, Get Down, Aim For the Tile, Crawmonster
What is your favorite treat? chicken meat/bones, catnip
What would your owner describe you as? Pukey - yet loveable
What is the funniest thing you have done? I once booked it after a squirrel, it gave my owner a heartattack - I thought it was funny as hell.
What is the bravest thing you have done? I like to run into the hallway sometimes and act confused.
Yes or No
Are you neutered? My balls are with me in a spiritual sense
Are you a social animal? Some would call me a whore
Are you always doing something bad when nobody is looking? I'm bad even when people are looking
Are you friendly? I can purr just by being stared at.
Are you overweight? Yes. That's why I feel it best to purge once a day.
Do you like warm milk? I prefer water from people glasses
Do you eat cheese? I would eat it if offered
Do you eat bugs? I kill them
Do you live with other animals? No
Do you like being in the house more than being outside? I love outside, but the dictator I live with won't let me out of my carpeted prison cell ever.
Do you like to exercise? Are Naps exercise?
Do you like car rides? About as much as I liked having my balls whacked
Do you get into stuff? Laundry, garbage and craws
Do you get along with your mommy or daddy? She's ok - except when she mocks my meowing
Do you like to swim? About as much as I like car rides
Do you chase laser pen dots? Maybe a little, but I prefer playing hard to get when it comes to toys
And finally, Do you love your mommy or daddy? She tastes like chicken.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
