Mr. Magee

So... I've been deleting friends like they're going out of style (they are)... I maybe haven't been as careful as I could have been, so if I actually know you and you got deleted I assure you it was an honest accident... well, except for you. No, not you... you. Right. If this is the case add me back and everything will be all bunnies with puppy faces riding unicorns and shit. Bitchin.
With that out of the way that brings us to the "I" section of our program:
I take pictures. I drink pitchers. I work too much. I spread myself too thin. I'm the quintessential jerk of all trades. I mean that in the best possible way. I don't think I can jump very high, but to be honest I haven't tried. I love music enough to consciously make bad decisions based on it. I couldn't possibly care less about Paris Hilton. I'm usually dirty but clean up relatively well. I hate TV but own a 50" plasma (thanks, Sancho!). I collect scars. I've never been to Europe. I need to change that. I hate my day job. I need to change that too. I like waffles, but not the Belgian variety which is all one can seem to get these days. I didn't get where I am today by worrying about how I was gonna feel tomorrow. I haven't shaved with anything but a straight razor for some time now. I think that when Hillary Clinton gets worked up, she sounds like the Martians from "Mars Attacks." I think Michael Jackson can probably kick Vern Troyer's ass... but to be honest, it might go either way. I'm unable to sit still unless exhausted. I miss NYC often. I don't miss the weekend I spent insulating the attic. I have pi memorized. I don't own anything from Abercrombie nor do I intend to. I do everything myself... for better or worse. I'm a pretty good shit and an even better shot. I'm pretty sure I'd have gotten an arson conviction in Nevada if I had been caught. I like braking late and dragging a knee. I'm genuinely surprised you're still reading this. I think you're fucking nuts. I have no interest in kids but have a genuine concern for what's become of them. I love the smell and sound of a two-stroke engine. I don't own many guns, but I have a shitload of ammunition.
I can probably kick your dad's ass... Well, Ok, maybe not... but if grandma wants to scrap she's fucked.