John

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? When you buy cat food why do you always buy the flavours you like the sound off? How young can you die of old age? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? If a man washes a dish, and no woman is around to see it, did it happen? Do fish get thirsty? If you learn from mistakes, why aren't I a genius? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown? Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if i squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?" The truth is out there, but where??Debbie Gallagher off of Shameless: Over the hills in a weird little land. Live fairies and goblins with more than two hands. Some gremlins they say, can come with four eyes. The dragons can scorch with the simplest of sighs. The scariest things to people like us, cos nothing can touch them, they're allergic to fuss. Until their mother appeared, started roaming their valley. Hiding and pouncing from damp, dark alleys. No noise, No chewing, No signs of a fight. Devouring the children with a plate of French fries. The bitch as she's called in the company of elves. Brought this tormenting curse upon herself. She'd been on a bender and staggered home pissed. Found an eighth and some Rizlas and rolled out a spliff. Got the munchies and reached for the handiest snack. She hate her own kids and then spat them straight back. "Forgive me, my beauties, what a dreadful mistake!" The children can't hear her they've gone it's too late.