live album being planned |
my first and possibly last live comedy album is in the planning stages. the date is tentatively set for early june. i could not be reached for further comment.
Posted by on Mon, 11 May 2009 10:31:00 GMT |
Rejection |
Someone must have designed the patterns that go on toilet paper, which means someone else didn't get the job. Someone else heard, "We looked at your portfolio, but sorry, you have nothing good enough ...
Posted by on Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:36:00 GMT |
They say... |
...a watched pot never boils. I say, if your POT is boiling, it's time to evacuate the premises. And drop out of culinary school.
Posted by on Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:06:00 GMT |
Facebook flair, and a joke. |
Hi,I now have a couple of pieces of flair available to those of you who use the Flair Wall application on Facebook. Just run a search for "Elijah Cross" and you'll see them.---------------------------...
Posted by on Sun, 31 Aug 2008 13:50:00 GMT |
Ever notice... |
...when someone isn't good at something they say something like, "I can't (that something) to save my life". But what if the thing you're not good at is killing yourself?
Posted by on Wed, 13 Aug 2008 14:02:00 GMT |
126. Imagine what it's like... |
...being the center of a roll of toilet paper. You're made of paper. The squares on the roll are paper. You SEE what's happening to THEM. You'd be thinking, " I gotta get out of here fast, or I'm gonn...
Posted by on Sun, 10 Aug 2008 06:55:00 GMT |
125. Heimlich |
I'm learning the Heimlich Manuever. They say the first thing to do is ask the victim, "Are you choking"? I think you can ask whatever you want as long as the answer isn't "chkmnppmmmph".
Posted by on Mon, 04 Aug 2008 12:16:00 GMT |
124. Ninjas... |
I think if reincarnation were possible, ninjas would come back as boogers. You can't prevent either one from sneaking up on you.
Posted by on Fri, 01 Aug 2008 09:59:00 GMT |
123. Inspiring? |
I heard this story about a stripper who quit her job to become a race car driver. Some find that inspiring, but I say she's still doing lap after lap.
Posted by on Sun, 06 Jul 2008 07:38:00 GMT |
120. Hangman... |
...is a fun game, but it's pretty strange. The object is to save someone's life - but if pieces of him are being hanged one at a time, he's probably already dead.
Posted by on Sat, 21 Jun 2008 21:49:00 GMT |
