Angry Janice profile picture

Angry Janice

IF YOU WANT IT. COME AND GET IT.

About Me

I am a woman of a certain age looking for a new man preferably uncut with a romantic streak (ie bring flowers). I don't suffer fools gladly and looking at half of the people on myspace, I've walked into the largest congregation of idiots on the planet. I have not had sex for ten years now so any future lovers will have to realise that a forced re-entry might be on the cards. By day I am a lolly pop lady, not through need, I don't need money, it's more something to do and it gives me a standpoint where I can watch the world crumble in the hands of sixteen year old children having children. I think people who pierce a child’s ears before the age of fourteen should have their front teeth pulled out with tweezers by me. I do not like children, especially males and I'm not too thrilled with them when they grow up either. Not that I am a lesbian because I hate lesbians, they were ok until one of them stole my phone, now they can all rot in hell as far as I am concerned.I'm a mesmerising Woman, sorry menstruating, I mean masturba.. oh fuck off!You have been marked on my profile map!
make your own map at: www.modmyprofile.com

My Interests

Sculpting lard into figurines, varnishing them and passing them off as ivory at village fates up and down the country.Writing on the website www.theworldaccordingto.com

I'd like to meet:

Shane Richie and his Coronation Street counterpart, in a dark alley with a mallet.Lilly Allen teetering on the edge of a cliff while i take pot shots with a cannon...!

Music:

Yes. I do like music. Not all of it though. And not Lilly Allen - ever.

Movies:

I've been in a few but unfortunately none of those were any good. Not because of me, as far as non-speaking-walk-on-extras go, I am the cream of the crop.

Television:

The man from Atlantis, Space Maidens, Clapperboard, Mari Mawr.

Books:

I read the booker shortlist every year. I have no idea why anymore. They've been crap for the last two years.

Heroes:

Shirley Bassey and Ivana Trump after the night they staggered into my private party pissed and took over the karaoke. ..

My Blog

I live in New York Now

Right, I haven't got all the time in the bloody world, so here's the low down. I had enough of Britain so I rented my home out and I've bought an apartment on Manhattan. To be precise, I am on 31st an...
Posted by Angry Janice on Sat, 03 May 2008 07:52:00 PST

EVERYONE GETTING SEXUAL ONLINE

   Jesus Christ! I am trying to bloody slide into a month's condensed retirement with a box of all Gold here and what do I get? Hundreds of bloody messages saying Stop it, men putting pictur...
Posted by Angry Janice on Mon, 08 Oct 2007 04:56:00 PST

Gay Marathon

The two fat gays from down the road came around few nights back. Would I sponsor them for a half marathon for Charity? I didn't ask what charity was, with gays it's best not to, there's probably a som...
Posted by Angry Janice on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 04:08:00 PST

My long Pubic hair - UPDATE

Right, remember ages ago when I discovered one very long, very thick pubic hair that wasn't growing from the outside, but coming down from up my lady? Well I went to the doctor and they said it is act...
Posted by Angry Janice on Wed, 29 Aug 2007 06:27:00 PST

My Cave Walls Are Damp

I woke up this morning in a filthy sexual mood. Not only had I had my usualy dream about David Seaman giving me one up the shitter in the Titanic position but I'd also dreamed about half of you on her...
Posted by Angry Janice on Mon, 20 Aug 2007 06:08:00 PST

They are excavating my husband's grave. I am not joking.

Letter this morning. They are exhuming my husband's grave because it is waterlogged. Has to be done, by law after dark apparently. Booked in for after ten pm Friday. It's a good thing Big Brother is s...
Posted by Angry Janice on Tue, 24 Jul 2007 05:47:00 PST

Rome

RightFirst off, I won't be talking much about Rome. Since, despite the fact I love Rome and have been there six times, this time I hated it and am angry with myself for being so stupid as to go there ...
Posted by Angry Janice on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 03:37:00 PST

Cake Making Competition

Right, being online and sitting on a seat all the time is no good because aside from the lack of exercise, it means no one is engaging with real life, so imagine for a second, we all spend a half hour...
Posted by Angry Janice on Tue, 26 Jun 2007 08:35:00 PST

INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS

 You bloody bastards, I have the afternoon off to arrange a well deserved holiday and you clone me! Look at you all. I thought that acid I took millennium night was finally kicking in. It's doing...
Posted by Angry Janice on Thu, 21 Jun 2007 04:32:00 PST

I thought it was the string of my tampax but no

It is a very long hair. I am shitting myself, do I pluck or see a doctor?
Posted by Angry Janice on Tue, 19 Jun 2007 07:15:00 PST