The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.*IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME IT'S BECAUSE I'M FAB-OU-LOUS AND YOU KNOW IT!I poke people with needles and I am the Chief Reporter for HORRORNEWS.NET with my own column called, "Horror Gossip." I suggest you check it out if you want all the latest news and reviews in horror. My dream job is to be a Mortician. I was a bartender for a long time...among other things.I'm an ass hole. Cry about it. I'm not goth, punk, metal, or a freak. I am everything combined. And the biggest nerd on the planet. I am a complete smart ass. I like bitches and 40s and making people feel stupid. I am not afraid to punch you in the face no matter what fat size you are.The only things I REALLY care about:
My offspring
My man-friend
My friends. They are the most honest, loyal people I know and are good to me.
My rare collection of horror and cult films
My Iron Maiden Cds
Dislikes:
People who sing songs about dragons.
Pink, Avril Lavign, Beyonce.
Hillary Clinton, Obama, Michael Moore
Americanized foreign horror
The Lifetime Channel-but I like to see a bitch get slapped.
Feminists, 98% of females.
Peas, squash, under cooked steak
Gwen Stefani's solo career
Loud noises
People who diss Meat Loaf. He rules.
Billy Ray Syruss
Black jeans (GROSS!), Scrunchees, Tweety Bird and Eagle Shirts (ROFL) Mullets (EW)
Cigarettes. They're gross, make your teeth yeller, and no good.
I grew up in a shit hole town called Nederland and everyone there can suck my dick.
I usually have some bad ass DIV layout but I get tired of fooling with it so I stick with the basic now unless I get super bored.
