So, i'm kevin, and i'm kind of obsessed with cluttered old bookstores, pre-1960s Los Angeles, science, linguistics, urban exploration, sick inappropriate humor, assertive women, social activism, indy music and films, NPR. These days I program websites for a living, spend time with good people, fantasize about running away and living in the wilderness, find unintended uses for things, read books voraciously, and take an unhealthy interest in being generally sarcastic. I celebrate diversity and the bizarre. Plus, I have a Dr. Seuss tattoo.
Pet Peeves:
- The use of 'literally' when you mean 'figuratively' ("I was literally climbing the walls!") Commercials with closeups of cats eating moist food Racial pride/patriotism Constant ellipse usage at the end of sentences. Are you trying to be breathy? Mysterious? Pondersome? Women who park and then take 10 minutes to get out of their car People who keep talking when they know I'm not listening Pet costumes A lack of keeping track of who else is in your physical proximity because you're texting/talking on your cellphone/really important/shopping/Asian Sublime, the Beastie Boys, and Rage Against the Machine Willful ignorance
Disclaimer:
The text above says I CAN EAT GLASS IT DOES NOT HURT ME in several different languages*. You have been warned.
* ...Just in case anybody "foreign" (i.e. terrorist, illegal alien, towelhead, etc.) is thinking of fucking with me. By the way, this is America, so start speaking American†or GET OUT. When you leave your shitty country and come to a better one, LEARN THE LANGUAGE . Other languages such as Mexican, Cherokee, Canadian, or Esperanto will not be tolerated. American is in fact the only language that should be spoken anywhere. If it was good enough for Jesus ‡, then it's good enough for you, freedom-hater.
†American is not to be confused with its bastard offspring English, which is spoken in England, or Califnordian, which is spoken in California.
‡ Yes, of course Jesus spoke American. After all, which language is the new AMERICAN bible written in?