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....RIAdoptee72 on HubPages
Hi I'm John Greene a RI adoptee, as you are about to find out I've dedicated my page to adoptees. I have always put others before me throughout life, I grew up visiting and taking care of the elders in my neighborhood and even coached a couple of teams for the RI Special Olympics for many yrs. Im friendly, charismatic, compassionate, wise, witty (aka wise-ass), goofy, and have a great sense of humor that can leave you laughing so hard that you may wet your pants. There aren't many things Im extremely serious about outside of the topic of adoption but it is much more serious then it's portrayed socially. With that said adoptees please continue down and non-adoptees head left to my interests section.
Adoptee Rights
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Welcome to the Adoptee Hub!
"What ADOPTEES NEED TO KNOW is that their experience was real. Adoption isn't a concept to be learned, a theory to be understood, or an idea to be developed. It is a real life experience about which adoptees have had and are continuing to have constant and conflicting feelings....Their feelings are their response to the most devastating experience they are ever likely to have: THE loss of their [natural] mother. Just because they do not consciously remember it does not make it any less devastating. It only makes it more difficult to deal with, because it happened before they had words which to describe it, and is therefore, impossible to talk about." - 'The Primal Wound', Nancy Verrier
The beginning of the adoptee journey to Self is without direction. It’s aimless like a top spinning elusively at its own whim and at the same time self-contained by its own gravity of cahos and curiosity. This journey to Self is symbolic and parallel of the beginning of their life, born into a new chapter without direction figuring out the strange new world engulfing them. Once again perseverance and resilience will prevail as they persist through self-evolution. Adoptees evolve to survive, to know, and to understand, even with fear of fierce rejection, abandonment, & deep loss as their ally, they persist into the darkest and unexplored areas of their own soul because instinct & their primal need to know who & what they are propels them. My bet will always lay with the Adoptee, in that they will conquer & prevail.
The past few years of my life has been the most fascinating experience I could have ever imagined. Little did I know that when I began my own search to discover my natural family to find answers to life long riddles I was about to embark on my journey to "Self". It wasn't until I began this quest that I realized how much adoption had impacted my life. The next question ppl tend to have is well how do you know adoption impacted your life? That's a fair question, the answer is if you're an adoptee that has that urge to search and has had life long curiosities than your life has been impacted. It's not so much the adoption aspect as it is the separation from the natural mother. It is only once the adoptee acknowledges this can healing and the journey to Self begin. The reasoning was a little deeper than that for me, such as at the ages 7-10 I really hoped to be kidnapped so I could go find my biological mother. I figured if I was kidnapped I wouldn't hurt my parents feelings in comparison to running away and have them think I didin't want them. (What 7y/o does that?)
Over the course of time I have realized this journey is so much more than answering questions to life-long curiosities, the larger picture is it's about completing the Self. Yes adoptees need to know health history, their nationality(s), who they look like in this world, if they have full or half siblings, and most importantly learning one's full identity. Most recently I have helped a RI organization get up and running, T.R.A.C.E- The Rhode island Adoption Coalition for Equality. Our efforts are for RI adult adoptees so they can have unrestricted access to their Original Birth Certificate (OBC). I personally feel that every adoptee should have the same opportunities as every other person, and as it stands right now adoptees don't. Adoptees have zero health history, and this is immense in this day and age fighting all types of cancer, heart disease, and high blood pressure.
To the rest of the world:
Adoptees are usually deep beyond words and very attuned with behavior, and yes we read ppl's behavior like reading an exciting novel & many love deep conversations. Despite popular belief on adoption, although probably for the best, adoptees didn't ask to be adopted we had no say in the matter. We didn't get to select our parents, they selected us. Adoptees no matter the age don't ever feel comfortable being referred to as special, we were abandoned by our natural mother, likely for very good reason, but there's nothing special about that. It's not fun not knowing our biological roots, constantly wondering where we came from, or who made us.
I wrote all my blogs which reflects the affects that influence an adoptee, other adoptees responded with amazing comments and after much encouragement I'm close to publishing a book with all my writings(blogs). So keep an eye on JG from Providence! I've also met many many other adoptees on myspace, and they're all pretty awesome.. About half the ppl on my friends list are adoptees, along with 10 of my top 20.. the other 10 ppl I speak to and go out with from time to time, so no friends for the sake of having friends.
I dedicate the following passage to my adoptee friends by Betty Jean Lifton (adoptee and PhD):
"Adoptees heal by becoming healers. We could say that adoptees have always been healers... they healed the birth mother by going off to a different clan. They healed the adoptive parents...by becoming replacement children for the child who never was.. they healed the adoptive parents' infertility....BECAUSE AS CHILDREN THEY...DEVELOP AN ENHANCED SENSITIVITY FOR THE FEELINGS OF OTHERS.".- 'Journey of the Adopted Self'
In my words, I have the capability to analyze the cookie crumb trail of a person's actions & behaviors, NEVER to judge or criticize, but to learn where they've been, to understand where they're going and support them on their way there.
Adoptees need to know that the unidentified normal feeling that's been with them since they can remember is buried pain/turmoil and is a result of a very truamatic event... Being separated from their natural mother.
I'm so fascinated about adoption and its effects I'm looking forward to Grad school so I can work towards my PhD in Clinical Psychology to assist others who've experienced separation trauma/anxiety such as adoptees, orphans, foster ppl, and kids/adults that have lost a loved one prematurely.
I genuinely believe adoption is a great solution for many many things, but it is NOT as glorious as it's portrayed. It's never fun for an adoptee filling out forms and never being able to answer questions about family medical history, or heritage, or where we got our looks from. It's never fun looking at family pics reminded that we don't look like any of them. Its not fun being a kid thinking you could be abandoned again because 1 mom already did..
If you've read to this point I'm impressed that you're that intrigued! PLEASE say HI!
As for my personality, I have a fun sense of humor that's witty and has a flare of dry sarcasm. I love laughing and making others laugh. I'm polite, considerate, compassionate, and charismatic. I Don't have time for drama or negativity. However, I like to press the buttons of life and see if I get a wild ride. In the mean time I'll keep laughing, amusing ppl & myself, and drinking coffee 'till I twitch.
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