I'm an author, a reporter, an actor, a student, and a genius. I'm no savant, mind you; you won't see me debating the philosophical undertones of the Qur'an in Klingon. I don't organize my closet by color, my movies aren't alphabetized, and I don't use the Dewey Decimal Classification to organize my books. However, I am a fairly well rounded individual with many interests and a broad knowledge of a great number of subjects. What I have is an unquenchable thirst for education.
That said, I'm a terrible student. I typically think I get things far before I actually do, and I tend to act like an expert far before I'm a novice. I make up for this in stubbornness and an innate inability in admitting when I'm wrong.
Punctuality is not one of my strong points. Even if I have nothing else going on and I have plenty of time to get ready and arrive on time, I promise I won't. My lack of punctuality does not derive from my disinterest in a thing or (as many people have suggested) a lack of respect for other peoples' time. Rather, my being late has more to do with my general distaste in clocks and calendars. I don't like being committed to a timeframe, even if it's something I really want to do. I'd much rather arrive with the wind, not with the second hand.
I have an obsession with keeping my ears clean. Certain places make them feel dirty. Bathrooms, for instance. If I walk into a small room with a porcelain bowl, a showerhead, tile floors, and no windows, I'm bound to want a Q-tip. If I don't have one, my head hurts. As I do not like headaches, and I do not like dirty ears, I avoid going into a bathroom when a cotton swab is not available. I've been known to clean my ears with tissue paper.
Logic problems and puzzles are some of my favorite pastimes. I can't stand an unsolved Rubik's cube. I'm constantly clicking on IQ test links only to be disappointed that I'm brought to ten stupid questions and a contact information form, promising me results if I sign up for three months of some ridiculous text messaging service. These websites frustrate me, but I'm drawn to them like a fish to a lure.
I'm an unlucky poker player, though I'm great at chess.
The last few months I've spent an ungodly amount of time looking at ROFL pictures, FAIL pictures, and TFLN comments. I don't get anything out of this.
I overanalyze situations and believe the worst in peoples' intentions. Due to my distrust in clocks and calendars, I often find myself getting Lone Puppy Syndrome, and I interpret a few days of no contact as a total loss. With my lack of punctuality, this trait becomes a double-edged sword. I often lose contact with people entirely due to it.
If I'm not wearing my glasses when I meet someone, I probably won't recognize them the second time we bump into each other. I often forget to wear my glasses.
I'm old fashioned when it comes to dating. Women shouldn't have to pay for meals during the early dating stages. Until there is more equity in the work force I will continue to feel this way.
If I ask a female friend to eat or drink or hang out, it's because I'm interested. This goes with all men. I've never heard of a guy asking a girl on a one on one date with the intention of just being friends.
If you put out within the first two dates - or for that matter two months - I will not introduce you to my family and I will not look at you as a long term relationship. That's not to say that I won't try to get you to put out within that period of time, that's just to say if you give in, I won't consider you as anything more than temporary. I have high expectations and low standards.
Writing is my biggest passion. I'm always searching for material. The tattoo on my back reads, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." If you want your words to be copyrighted, I suggest you write them first.
I can cook.
I read most books that are suggested to me, so long as they are not religious texts or self help. I'm agnostic and I don't mind my flaws enough to read about how to fix them. Have a favorite fiction that I just have to read, on the other hand, and I'll add it to my list, regardless of genre (again, as long as it is not a religious text).
I'm always up for a debate.
My favorite Holiday is Halloween. I like how uninhibited people are when they get to put on costumes, party, drink, and trick or treat. We seem to take our masks off the moment we are allowed to put them on.
I like green chile.
My favorite movie is Jurassic Park. That's thanks to my former roommate Mariah.
I do not enjoy being intoxicated in any way.
Practical jokes are always welcome.
Nudity as a taboo is a big joke. America's diversion to sex is one of the most bizarre things ever. When GTA San Andreas was recalled after having pixilated soft-core porn encoded into it, I laughed at the nation's lack of a moral foundation. Killing, stealing, and doing drugs are okay. But intercourse! For shame! I wouldn't be surprised if these government official idiots tried to suggest pregnant women stay locked up inside because we all know what they did...
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
I'm attracted to women with tattoos, women with eccentric personalities, women with free spirits, women who enjoy experimentation, and women that have lofty expectations of themselves and of me. I am not attracted to women that are not concerned about their health, appearance, and/or hygiene. Presentation says a lot about quality.
Political correctness drives me nuts.
If it's not obvious, I'm a fairly open book. I have a lot of characteristics that a lot of people don't like, and I have a lot of characteristics that a lot of people do like. I'm well rounded. I'm not perfect, but I'm not afraid of being imperfect. Most people like me just fine, those that don't are shallow, thoughtless, and uninteresting. Fact.
Most of the time I will be forthright and honest with anyone who asks. There are times, however, that I hold my cards pretty tight. There are some aspects of my personality that I'm not comfortable sharing with everyone... as there are aspects of everyone's personality that they choose not to share with others.
If this About Me section isn't personal enough for you, then I suggest getting to know me personally. Otherwise, I hope your life is filled with all the ups and downs necessary for you to experience all of the incredible dimensions of human existence. Life is an amazing thing, filled with tough lessons and unimaginable acts of kindness and love. Even the most colorful of lives will find the blackened skies, as the bleakest of lives will find shades of indescribable beauty. Whatever hue your life seems to be, I hope that you welcome the darkness as well as the bright. All of it, I assure you, is worth experiencing. And all of our experiences, joyous and grim, paint the image of human existence - a picture that will never be rivaled. And one that we should all feel very honored for being part of.
