About Me
SPACE COWBOY
MEET ME @ SPACE IN MIAMI
EVERY SATURDAY.
SEND ME AN EMAIL & GET
ON MY SPACE GUEST LIST!
SATURDAYS ARE FOR SPACE.
I'm a shameless myspace whore. Come to think of it, maybe I'm just a shameless whore. J/K! ...Whores get paid.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy. I'm a sucker for a good night out, which is every night I go out. That's Jaqueline, Brie(right), and ME getting rocked @ SPACE - 3/31/07. See video below, to the left. Hit me up and I'll take you, too - I'll even get you in for free.
Glad you had a great B-Day, Brie.
Hurry back 'cuz I miss you getting drunk and acting all slutty! lol. :)
I wear my old whitey tighties to the beach.... and this is why I'm hot.
Silly Wabbit...
I'm the King of Clubs.
You like my
White Ass?
NEED A FABULOUS NEW LOOK?
Try my new CrackHead TM Home Makeover Kit.
You're gonna love the way you look!
I guarantee it.
I'm In Some Deep Shit.
I've been called "profoundly retarded." I took the short bus to my high school reunion because I wanted to "keep it real." I've been known to help little old ladies walk across the street. Once to the other side, they usually smile and thank me, at which time I snatch their dentures, walkers, and bifocals and hold them for ransom. I usually demand 40,000 kielbasa sausages in unmarked buns, a one-way ticket to Siberia - and no police.
Unfortunately my little scheme hasn't played out too well, forcing me into a new career selling second-hand "Geriatric Accessories" on eBay. Right now I have 21 canes, 7 walkers, 9 pairs of glasses, 4 sets of teeth, 2 tubes of Polygrip, 16 boxes of Depends tm undergarments, and one motorized wheelchair up for bid. Check it out.
Like it or not, I guess I have a knack for getting myself into really deep shit. Right now I'm on the run because I ripped off a chiropractor and he's threatening to "crack my back." I don't know how I could have been so stupid! Sometimes I am so disappointed in my life and decisions that I would disown myself, if only I could. Instead, I lock my doors, turn up the music very loud so no one can hear, and give myself a royal ass-beating. One time I kicked my ass so bad that I had to call the cops, but I decided not to press charges because the voice in my head said that if I did - I'd never walk again. I believe him, too.
So to make a long story short, I'm a victim of chronic domestic abuse, despite the fact that I live alone. Some of my beatings have been so severe that I had to visit a chiropractor, but now he wants a piece of my ass, too. I never meant to dine and dash (or, in this case, re-align and dash), but my surplus of old-folks supplies really isn't paying off. So listen - no matter how much you admire me or wish that your head was shiny like mine, no matter how much you want to be like me - bustin' "ALL CAPS" in people's asses and slappin' my cripples up, you really wouldn't want to be me - because I'm totally fucked.
In real life I'm an unpublished writer, a career student, an aspiring attorney, a graphics artist, an adrenaline addict, a former entertainment producer, and a nightlife and club promoter, among other things. My life is like a mullet haircut: business in the front, party in the back. I like to keep a lighter side and laugh a lot, yet tend to business and keep the bullshit to a minimum. What else can I say? Check out my shitty pics if you want to learn more.
