*Sweet Jane*

I like to get it. A lot. I enjoy watching an alternating cycle of the christian channel, Telemundo, and the Lifetime Network at 3 am while drinking "prestige" gin on the rocks. Ron Popeil is my hero. I'm a hater. I'll probably always be a hater. I actually love to hate. I enjoy a good bum fight at the bus stop. I like to throw a quarter in the middle of a group of bums just to watch them scramble. I like to walk my dog. I like it when my dog barks at people in spandex and rollerblades on the bike trail. I apologize while i try to not stare at their private parts. I used to read books and write stories. I don't so much anymore. I want to be famous one day for something my parents did and then use my notoriety to start a young, female, anorexic, whoooring secret society in the trendy nightclub scene. I want to call it: Cohorts in Omnipresent Kitties. C.O.K. for short. I have an obscene and underrated sense of humor. I'm a natural blonde. And when the police man asked "Ma'am, how'd you get that black eye?" I was honest and replied, "Officer, it was my fault. I didn't have dinner ready on time."