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I am here for Friends

About Me

"The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it."

My Blog

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

my oh my oh my it has been a loooooooong time since i blogged anything... is anyone listening? hello? see what i'm doing, pretending people are actually there. you know being "ironic" & "stuff" ye...
Posted by on Sat, 25 Oct 2008 19:20:00 GMT

Crank it...1 2 3 ONE TWO THREE!!

(quick note: the following contains EXTREME geekiness...i've warned you) Next tuesday is the 1st Cambridge Star Trek Festival @ Ross Street, Titbridge. I know you're all really excited about this fact...
Posted by on Wed, 04 Jul 2007 12:29:00 GMT

you cuss, i cuss, we all cuss for asparagus

yes my children, i return from the land of post-christmas-wankery to bring you joy & STD's. high five? fuck your raised-hand-debauchery. i have the your name, your number & your momma's chest ...
Posted by on Tue, 23 Jan 2007 19:54:00 GMT

With Regards To My Newborn Arachnid Kids

1) With Regards To My Newborn Arachnid Kids 2) John Frusciante - Carvel 3) Red Hot Chili Peppers - Tell Me Baby (What's Your Story?) 4) Head Automatica - Graduation Day 5) Motion City Soundtrack - 100...
Posted by on Tue, 29 Aug 2006 08:52:00 GMT

BLOG 3: The Last Stand (aidez-moi à le traverser)

well well well it is mighty hot outside & im pretty sure that dripping sound is the computer slowly melting! sheesh....so apparently theres a football match on but i've decided to waffle for 28-29...
Posted by on Sat, 10 Jun 2006 08:44:00 GMT

Taking Back Sunday & the Interview Kid II: oops! i blogged again

okay so today i got a call at 9am (i was already awake, thinking about getting up so i wasn't too narked!) & it's some lady from HR at forbidden planet & she was very nice and offered me the a...
Posted by on Thu, 25 May 2006 07:25:00 GMT

you only blog twice

okay my last blog wasn't too popular (i think i need to bulletin it or something) so i'll try again & maybe if i talk about fried chicken enough maybe people will approach me....did you know there...
Posted by on Fri, 12 May 2006 08:49:00 GMT

BE MY BABY (The 2006 Give It A Name Love In)

1) Intro (Guilty OF Loving You) 2) Devo - Whip It (The Longer The Song Title, The Better The Song) 3) Intro Pt II (MC You Better Look Over Your Shoulder) 4) Skindred - Nobody 5) Red Hot Chili Pepp...
Posted by on Fri, 05 May 2006 15:38:00 GMT