This is Dwight. Schrute. I am the Assistant Regional Manager at the Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch, Michael's right hand man. I am also a volunteer sheriff at the Lakhawanna County Sheriff's Department, and a Sempai at the local Scranton dojo. I try to avoid smiling; smiling is a sign of submission in chimpanzees. When you smile, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life. My cousin Mose and I run the beet farm my father, Dwight Schrute, left us. Women have weak arms; one of the many defects of their kind.. and if you are a woman do not bother trying to flatter me, I have a girlfriend. Who shall remain nameless. I value loyalty higher than anything else.
