Forty something ..my daddy always said he was twenty something.
I am a homemaker, with 2 children who have grown up way too fast. College for the oldest one next year. High school for my "baby" next year. Time does fly!I call myself "deafsinger" here for a good reason.
I had sudden total hearing loss in my right ear approx. 15 yrs. ago. I had partial sudden loss in my left ear.
I have always (since 5th grade) played the guitar , enjoyed singing alone, and writing music as well as lyrics.
Everyone always told me how Great that I was & always wanted me to play another & another & would request songs.
It was so very easy for me that I thought that I certainly could not really be any good. I thought that for any thing to be good that it had to be "Difficult" ,and certainly not enjoyable. Since I questioned my abilities as a singer/player/songwriter, I was always very uncomfortable performing...I had ZERO self esteem around others. Usually I had to be begged to play. I was at a friends house and was 13 years old. Joe Namath, who had played football at Alabama under Bear Bryant was a friend of my friends father. He came to town, and saw my guitar, asked whose it was and they told him that it was mine. He asked if I was any good & just shrugged like I don't know , and my friend & her parents told him how great I was & that I wrote songs.He asked me to play for him & I was mortified.Everyone insisted, so I said okay, just let me go upstairs & tune it, and I left to walk home a couple of miles away! Isn't that pitiful.Well, after losing my hearing, I had difficulty hearing & still do. I learned very easily to read lips & am very good at it.Slowly my left ear began to allow me to hear better, like at around 70% in one ear.
My deaf ear always rings (it Never Stops) at around 80 dcb.
or louder than the sound of sitting inside a jet, but very high pitched. I literally thought while flying for the 1st time after my deafness that the jet would give me relief of the ringing at least for a few minutes...it did not.I decided one day to take my 12 string guitar out of the closet and try to play & sing. No sense in singing because I could not even hear the 12 string guitar. This made me more distraught than anything else because my guitar had been my friend, my solace, my comfort and now it became my greatest loss. For 1 year I had to stay on steroids to reduce inflammation of the ear & had 2 surgeries and healing. The surgeries did not help my hearing loss, I still hear Zero except for the loud constant ringing.My doctors told me that I would Never be able to sing again, that with my type of hearing loss, I would be able to talk in converstaions unless there were other noises around, and that singing & playing the guitar would be impossible. I worked very hard at it.I learned how to cup my hand around my ear & would sing to recored tracks of my guitar. I finally bought a pre-amp mixer to make the sound less distorted and a recorder.
So... a very long story , but I am deafsinger.
And...I AM AWESOME! I AM GREAT! I feel foolish for all of the years that I spent doubting my talent.Music & singing became very hard, very difficult, and I guess that since I finally had to work so hard to do it, that I realized how good that I am. I am truly blessed that only one of my ears was taken, because I cannot ever imagine my life witout my music.
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