"Bobbie Boob was born in a canoe that had beached itself on a sandbar on the Tiber River. His father a Scandinavian protestant, and his mother a former Brazilian contortionist. He was never a stranger to heated arguments. While traveling across the United States on a pilgrimage to convert Americans to the metric system, Bobbie escaped from his parents when he was fifteen by hiding himself inside a rather large Christmas tree. He quickly learned to fend for himself while keeping refuge in Times Square that Winter. Sneaking out of the tree to steal food, and to collect scraps of any kind of fabric that he could add to the lining of his clothes. Bobbie discovered his love or electronica of all kinds when dumpster diving behind a Radioshack in the Summer of '93. Building his own equipment from broken Casios and a Speak-n-spell, and stealing electricity from any transistor he could climb to was his preferred mode of operation. He had been working as a Vanilla Ice impersonator on weekends at an all-gay cabaret, and was stealing anything that looked halfway valuable to make some money on the side. Two years later, he had traveled halfway across the country with a group of vegan bootleggers, who reportedly 'made the shittiest cabbage vodka I've ever tasted'. After an argument with the local militia over a bar tab and "obscene gestures" allegedly made at the Rotarian club, Bobbie was thrown out the window of a moving bus and his skull was shattered from the impact with an oncoming Oscar Meyer Wiener-van. Bobbie is more of a recluse these days, living in a farmhouse outside the city limits of Lincoln. He still enjoys making music, and drinking anything intoxicating while lying on his back in the living room, firing repeated rounds through the ceiling with a high-caliber pistol."
