Hey you lil' devil do you want to win $100 Bucks from me? Then click the link to check out the Retail Hell "Employee of the month competition!"...
Lil’ Mephisto lives in a small padded room somewhere in the centre of middle Earth, his last refuge from the incessant inhumanity of customers/managers/multi-national companies towards retail staff. After over a decade working in retail serving the lowest common denominators of the human race he now communicates in a series of clicks and whistles and suffers from a pronounced nervous tick whenever he’s within ten feet of a cash register.
He can no longer bear to face humanity having seen it’s true face during the Summer sales and having been subsequently scarred for life by the experience.
A little old lady once managed to get him in a choke hold after he refused to give her a discount on a sweater she had just ripped in the shop right in front of him. Since then he has championed a one man campaign against the use of nuclear power in favour of using little old ladies as an alternative eco-friendly fuel source (this also has the added benefit to society of avoiding the looming pension crisis. Though admittedly the global economic trade in doilies might be adversely affected.)
He has several scars caused by customers throwing things at him, he is going deaf in one ear from years of customers screaming at him down the phone, he has worked for four multi-national companies, he has made two managers weep, he now walks with a slight limp after little Nipper attacked him at a HMV store opening (his last retail incarnation/incarceration), he has now quit five jobs, three relationships, two addictions and on any thought of ever working in retail again.
He currently rules over his fellow wage slaves in RETAIL HELL an underworld for those of the Retail classes.
And someday he wants to have a puppy called Cat.
Just so the other puppies pick on it!
animal layout @ HOT FreeLayouts.com HotFreeLayouts
O.k so it's that time again folks for the weekly/daily/hourly RETAIL HELL quiz game.The stakes are high (and incidentally so am I but moving swiftly on...)
The contest (as you should already know by now)
is to win back your immortal soul from Lil' Meph!
If you can answer these simple questions correctly...
AND NO CHEATING!!! OR I'LL HAVE TO GET THE RED HOT POKERS OUT!!!
(AND THAT MEANS YOU TOO YOUNG MASTER COOMBES!!! )
Just click the links so lovingly provided to leave your answers people!!!
Ok so first off we'll start with that old favourite...
What's the stupidest/funniest/OMFG dumbest question a customer has ever asked you?
DUMB ASS CUSTOMERS
Now here's one for all you wordsmiths out there...
I want you to come up with some names to describe the different
customer types you have to deal with day in day out.
You know like that one that always smells of Herring
or the one who mumbles all the time and talks to his change.
Whatever their quirks of behaviour give them a name
and add them to the Devil's Dictionary!
NAME THAT SILLY PUNT*cough*ER!
Now for you list makers out there (you know who you are!)...
What are the the 7 things that customers do that piss you off the most?
Add your suggestions for the top spot here...
7 DEADLY SINS
And in community news this just in...
Post your top tips for getting through the working day here...
Tips for looking busy and keeping the boss off your back
and your advice on customer avoidance strategy 101.
SURVIVAL GUIDE!
And here's one of our member's comic strip take on
customer/staff relations. Want to add of your own
or one you know about then send it in here...
COMIC CAPERS!
And this last exercise is our continuing, collective, counter productivity campaign!
Add your own suggestions or take a few notes for Monday!
Leave your suggestions for the ULTIMATE sickie excuse.
Please note that should you dare to click this link some of the
suggestions are not for the feint of heart!
YOU HAVE BEEN DULY WARNED!!!
SICKIE QUICKIE!
Todays retail rantings were brought to you courtesy of Lil' Mephisto!
(Whom, strangely enough, no longer works in retail!!!)
MEPHISTOPHELES
M Mystical
E Easy
P Proud
H Handy
I Inventive
S Shy
T Tasty
O Odd
P Profound
H Honest
E Entertaining
L Legendary
E Easy
S Sexy
CompleteMyspace.com
What is my ID?