Fight Club 107
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Congratulations! You're the biggest..
everyone but you
I Passed 8th Grade Math
I got 10/10 correct!
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Last Week Was My Birthday
Waking Up That Morning.
I Went Downstairs For Breakfast Hoping My Wife Would Be
Pleasant And Say, "Happy Birthday!",
And Possibly Have A Present For Me.
As It Turned Out, She Barely Said Good Morning,
Let
Alone "Happy Birthday."
I Thought... Well, That's Marriage For You, But The
Kids Will Remember.
My Kids Came Into Breakfast And Didn't Say A Word.
So When I Left For The Office, I Was Feeling Pretty Low
And Somewhat Despondent.
As I Walked Into My Office, My Secretary Jane Said,
"Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday!"
It Felt A Little Better That At Least Someone Had
Remembered. I Worked Until one O'clock and Then Jane
Knocked On My Door And Said, "You Know, It's Such
A Beautiful Day Outside, And It's Your Birthday,
Let's Go Out To Lunch, Just You And Me."
I Said, "Thanks Jane, That's The Greatest Thing
I've Heard All Day. Let's Go!"
We Went To Lunch. But We Didn't Go Where
We Normally Would Go.
We Dined Instead At A Little Place With A Private Table.
We Had Two Martinis Each And I Enjoyed The Meal Tremendously
On The Way Back To The Office, Jane Said, "You
Know, It's Such A Beautiful Day. We Don't Need To Go Back To The
Office, Do We?"
I Responded, "I Guess Not. What Do You Have In Mind?"
She Said, "Let's Go To My Apartment"
After Arriving At Her Apartment Jane Turned To Me And Said,
"Boss, If You Don't Mind, I'm Going To Step
Into The Bedroom
For A Moment. I'll Be Right Back."
"Ok." I Nervously Replied.
She Went Into The Bedroom And, After A Couple Of Minutes,
She Came Out Carrying A Huge Birthday Cake... Followed By My
Wife, Kids, And Dozens Of My Friends And Co-Workers,
All Singing "Happy Birthday".
And I Just Sat There..
On The Couch...
Naked !!!!! So yeah that's why i fired my secretary....
Poetry is my life... ONE OF MY POEMS.........................Under the pillow in the dark; with no cover on the heart, u spreadout ur fart. U love the cucumber in my yard, I love the pimple in urhand, im gonna take the shit out of ur yard. Plant some weed eatsome beats and think of your beast. Ur beast is funny ur beast aintslutty; I m the beast, u dummy. Dummy is cool, cools are fools,fools will be soon. Soon is still far lets go to the bar, the bar isfar, well take my car. Thats for now nothing more to mow ufat cow. The cow is mad, u know how to add, the ad was sad. Sad'sstill hot, sad's my knot; the dog's in the pot. The pot's big, ur a pig send me a pic. The pic is good eat some food to fit thepool. The pool is deep, a bill hard to keep leave me alone I wannasleep.
Hayfa Wehbi
T Tempting
H Helpful
E Excellent
T Twisted
O Organic
E Entertaining
F Flirtatious
A Appreciative
N Normal
What does your TOES look like?
TOES ARE AWESOME!
. ..................... .. . . . . . . .. . . . . .. . . . . .
THE TOE FAN IS THE COOLEST THE TOE FAN is the only Super-Cool !
Woah! Step back - the future's so bright for THE TOE FAN it's blinding me! He is the coolest of the cool. Everyone looks up to him as the benchmark for being coooool. The fonze was his grandfather. Any cooler and he'd freeze! WOO it's chilly in here.
THE TOE FAN IS A SUPER COOL GUY!
On the other hand, You , yeah you the one looking through my profile, are a Square !
You are a total dork. The pocket protecter and thick-lensed glasses give it away. Try watching some popular TV.. Get yourself some fashion sense already! On the plus side, no wait hang on, there is no plus side! Nerdsville, population YOU!
You are a square!!
May
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children.Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
"I WISH I CAN FIND ONE ABOUT TOES!"
Sunrise
You have sunrise eyes. Sunrise is the color of joy and elation. Your eyes symbolize your general sense of wellness. Your confidence and high self-esteem each and every day make you the person people want to be around. You are a very creative, passionate, and sexual person. You are not afraid to tell people what you think of them, whether good or bad. Some words to describe you: self-assuredness, out-going, busy, cheerful, bright, amiability, courage, successful, creative, personable, happiness, motivational, optimistic, strong, and aware.
I'm an Evil Bitch
Welcome to my world bitch!
The Toe Fan Highway
Dumpsville 4
Confusion Lane 15
Loony- TOE LAND 65
Lake Love 107
Contentment Meadows 549
Please Take Care Of Your TOES! What does your TOES look like?
PRETTY TOES RULE
!
U CAUTION IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP THE TOE FAN AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.
Hershey's Chocolat Bar
I'm a Hershey's bar.. original.. I cant stand to not have my chocolate every day- and I find myself craving it almost every moment of every day!
Mother Earth
I am very in touch with nature and its elements. I enjoy smoking because its natural and helps me understand more about life and why we live. I probley dont shower much and have dreds. Over all I am a pretty chill person to smoke with.
MY RULESWe always hear "the rules" from the female point of view... Now here are the rules from my side.These my rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," ! We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.