THE ORIGINS OF B. RUDE ARE STILL UNCERTAIN, BUT MOST HISTORIANS BELIEVE THAT MANY MOONS AGO HE SPROUTED FROM THE EARTH AFTER AN ANCIENT WARLORD PLANTED A DRAGON'S TOOTH IN THE TAINTED SOIL OF WEST VIRGINIA'S CHEMICAL VALLEY. HE IS A RARE SPECIES THAT HIBERNATES THROUGH SEVERAL WEEKS OF WINTER, ONLY WAKES TO EAT HIS DINNER, AND ACCUMULATE LEGAL TENDER. HE'S GOT TEN EYES, BLUE BLOOD, AND EIGHT ARMS WITH THREE METER PINCHERS IF YOUR WITHIN HIS REACH HE'S GUARANTEED TO INJURE. HE'S THE CREATURE CENSORED FROM GREEK ADVENTURES BECAUSE NOBODY MEETS THE BEAST AND LEAVES A WINNER HE'S DEFEATED EACH CONTENDER. HE CAN BE FOUND IN CAVES SCARFIN DOWN PLATES OF POUND CAKE AND HIS SOUND WAVES MAKE THE GROUND SHAKE. IN A MAJESTIC SPRAWL HE GUARDS A GREAT WIZARD'S CRYSTAL BALL HELD UP BY A PETRIFIED LIZARD'S CLAW. CHISELED WALLS HOLD THE TALE OF THE MYTH, BUT SOME ARE SKEPTICAL AND DON'T BELIEVE THAT HE EVEN EXISTS AT ALL. BUT ON A NICE QUIET NIGHT YOU CAN GO OUTSIDE AND LISTEN CLOSE AND IN THE DISTANCE YOU CAN HEAR B. RUDE KICKIN FLOWS.
directed by mic rude
