A publishing house who will take time out of their "busy schedule" to read my manuscript and make me and them some dosh. I'd also like to meet that bloody French bloke who started up Parkour and remove his spine. I feel this is a suitable punishment for the moron who encourages middle class credit card chavs to run around like rape victims pouncing on and off bollards and down stairwells. In an attempt to curb this rapscallion sport I have started greasing up any walls, bollards, stairwells and railings I come across in the hope that it will be reported in my local rag that some of these street monkeys have been removed from the gene pool due to my actions. Parkour - grow up twats.