I'm the only vegetarian I know that owns a fur coat; I can do the splits; there's a chance I'm a little too obsessed with fancy dress parties; I like travelling to dull and dreary places almost as much as new and exotic ones; no that's not my son in case you're wondering, it's my nephew - who does, admitted, look a helluva lot like me; I'm also the best reverse parker in the world and I will honestly challenge anyone who doubts me to an old-fashioned park-off
