For many of you who have not seen or heard from me in a while I know you probably see something is different. And for those people who know me currently I don't know if you have ever heard my story I think I should tell it because it may help some of you reading this understand why and maybe where you are at. grew up in a semi-religious household with both of my parents. We attended church regularly but it really had no affect on our lives outside of the two hours we attended. I grew up kinda poor and quickly realized that if you didn't have nice stuff then people really didn't pay any attention to you. SO I worked hard to earn the respect and attention of my PEERS and certain ADULTS because I equated this to LOVE. This lead me to seek hard after the love and approval of people so I WORSHIPED BEING POPULAR and getting attention from the OPPOSITE Sex. This seemed really cool at first but what I began to notice was that it would change from event to event but I was content with just feeling like I was LOVED. (NOW KEEP IN MIND I was STILL Associated with church and I had A sense of respect FOR GOD BUT NO REAL HEART CHANGE THAT REFLECTED MY THOUGHTS OF HIM)When I was a Senior I decided I would try to DO GOOD AND STOP HAVIN SEX, SMOKIN, AND CUSSIN. This was very frustrating because I would do good for a little while then do bad. I REALLY wanted to do the right thing but I could not do it.(I KNOW SOME of you are READING this SAYING DANG THATS WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW)Then a series of events happened My first year in college I went back to trying to live for ME again and I began to get humbled by GOD through a series of events. ONE DAY things got so bad that I just sat in my dorm room cryin not because I was upset at the situations I PUT MYSELF IN but I Realized two major things. 1. I HAD ALWAYS DONE EVERYTHING to be loved by people and their love was conditional and would AND Could change from situation to situation. 2. I was willing to try to give GOD what I thought I should give HIM. (SEX, DRUGS, AND CUSSIN) but I was not willing to Give HIM what HE wanted MY LIFE. And for the first time in my life I realized that that was the only thing HE wanted. MY LIFE. I was scared because I did not know what was going to happen after I gave it to HIM but I knew I could not live another day without giving it to HIM for REAL NO matter what it was going to cost me! So I sat on the side of that dorm room bed in OCTOBER 2000 and I ASKED CHRIST to COME IN MY HEART BECAUSE I WAS GIVING HIM MY LIFE. When I got up from praying I have never been the same again. I KNEW from that DAY on that I belonged to HIM because I was 100% FOR REAL. Then all of a sudden it was like LIFE was brand new to me. NOW I felt convicted about sin and could no longer live doing it because I KNEW IT OFFENDED MY GOD. As I began to read the bible (OUTSIDE OF CHURCH) regularly it actually became real to Me. %D%A From it and a host of people that I met. I was able to grow into the man you see and will be seeing. I KNOW SOME OF YOU SKEPTICS are SAYIN I am GLAD YOU FOUND GOD OR HE TOUCHED YOUR LIFE but I am not there YET. Thats cool but realize this: That just in the same way you would be responsible for your child even if you didn't care. That GOD will hold YOU PERSONALLY Accountable for whether or NOT YOU TRUSTED HIM enough to GIVE YOUR LIFE UP FOR HIS SON BECAUSE HE LOVED US enough to send HIM. Please take heed to this especially if the part of my life before CHRIST sounds like you. I AM not WEIRD I JUST LOVE the LORD and that LOOKS very WEIRD to a world that obeys its own lust and desires. HIT me up I am ALWAYS good to talk to NOT HOLYIER THAN THOU. PEACE
