...Kronic ironiK??
We're a 4 piece from all regions of Yorkshire who play some form of rock and like the occasional widdle. We've played a few shows in our time and hopefully this year we'll be releasing something. Below is some crap we've written/drawn. This band for us has just been a mad session of blurred nights and crazy stories, maybe not as eccentric as the ones below but pretty mental all the same. Cheers.Rob's story Kronic ironik started when farmer Niall lost his prize-winning cattle during the outbreak of mad cow disease many years ago. He was forced out of business and had no choice but to move to the city. This is where he met Jazz. Jazz was a dare-devil who had recently entered the Guiness book of records for the most soap eaten in 25 minutes. Once Jazz had been discharged from hospital he and Niall bought a small flat on the outskirts of the city. However, they foolishly decided to have a BBQ in the bathroom and set the whole place alight. When the fire engine came they met a fireman called Dale. Dale had accidentally pumped the water tanks of the fire engine full of petrol and petrol tanks full of water. Luckily everyone was alright, except the many people who died painfully. Despite blowing up half the city, Niall and Jazz found Dale to be a friendly man and he was kind enough to offer them both shelter at his place. The next morning they sat at Dale's computer where they read articles on Wikipedia for many hours until they felt smart. Then Jazz decided to enter them into University Challenge but realised they were not in university so that idea never came to happen, oh well. Instead they spent all the insurance money on a speedboat and sailed to Christmas Island. The island had been infested with its annual migration of christmas island red crabs. The 40 ft tall mother crab was out, and she was hungry. Many of the residents of the island had already been eaten. The gang decided not to prolong their stay at the island and pulled up the anchor. Suddenly a man came running over the horizon covered in small red crabs. He was in great pain and the gang decided it would have been cruel to leave him like this. Suddenly a broom appeared (artistic license) and Niall managed to brush off most of the crabs before dragging the man aboard. Once he had awoken he thanked them and told them his name was Rob. Niall, Jazz, Dale and Rob sailed the seven seas for many years, living off fresh fish and rain water before finally returning to dry land. Their boat struck ground in Italy which is where they were forced to stay. They had no where to go and had no idea where they were. It was a tough time for the boys but they managed to scrape together cash for food by busking. For many years they played together on street corners using their limited musical skills. One day a rich merchant named Bailey decided he liked their music and took them all back with him to Wakefield, England and paid them to play shows with food, small change and cigarettes. The boys were very grateful for what Bailey had done and always went out of their way to help him out. Then one day, tragically, Bailey was caught in a car accident and passed away. This forced the boys to fend for themselves. One night, during an intense mushroom trip, the boys had a vision. The moon came down from the sky and told of a great prophecy they must fulfill. They were to form a band called Kronic Ironik and eventually good things would come of it. In the morning, when they woke up, to the sound of footsteps in the rain, they knew what they had to do. They were still homeless, broke and hungry but devoted every hour of every day into writing music. They played enough shows to by and are still doing to this date, waiting for the day when the prophecy is fulfilled. So please, come see them, buy them something to eat, show them some love and have an understanding of what future they're working towards and what past they are dragging behind.
Thankyou.
Dale's story KronicIronik started in 1975 just around the same time the acid comedown kicked in and people realised they were never actually gonna be free. music was all over the place as were peoples heads. 4 guys who were not even tiny sperms yet decided that they would get together some day play great music that altered the perception of time and space around them. niall gibson (aka gib, quinn etc...) once fell over in such a pissed state that his limbs hit the ground in a 7/8 timing thus realising that anything was possible. when the mother of one robert fisher (aka fish robber) fell pregnant she had a music box connected to the inside of her womb. this music box would play tunes day and night along with scales, riffs and sounds that harmonized with the fluid floating around his delicate foetus. his 1st cry's harmonized perfectly with the music that was playing in the delivery room. enough said. jazz brown (aka spazz down) grew up in small travelling group of black and white minstrels. he was forced to play guitar until his hands were raw and his fingers could no longer stay still. always moving in time with whatever was goin on around him at the time, just in case he had to pick up the six string and play for the only scrap of food left from the bins the minstrels raided. dale spencer (aka dooldatool) was born an hermaphrodite. his parents had hoped for a girl so they had the necessary surgery performed in a back street clinic in glasgow and named her kizzy eliza. 2 weeks later they realised what a terrible mistake they had made, went back to the clinic and had another sex change op on the infant. the op was a success although femininity was still present he appeared completely male. one day he decided to play bass and the rest is yet to transpire. these four guys met in an online chatroom discussing the global, political conspiracy of today and all agreed that there wasn't much time left before we all get dumbed down to the point where no one cared anymore so they thought fuck it lets write some fucking tunes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kronic ironiK - Beady Eyes (live @ the snooty fox)
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"spoon of honey"
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This guy wants to call us The Stations
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tricks
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Cheers.