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My name is Happy Gilmore. Im a professional golf player, but I like hockey better. Before I was a pro golf player, I tried out for a hockey team every year but didnt make it. Then I got a call. My grandma's house was being reposessed cause she forgot one teeeeny tiny payment to the IRS ($273,000). I wanted to get money to buy the house back. One day, I discovered that I was able to shoot a golf ball 400 yards. I played a game, at the urging of my new friend and teacher Chubbs Peterson, and won. I became part of the pro tour, whene I could hopefully win some real money. Then I met Shooter McGavin, the biggest jackass ever. When he found out about me, first he tried to get me kicked off the tour. When that didnt work, he bought my house and made a bet with me. If I won the tournament, I could get the house back. If he won, I left the tour and he kept the house. With some help from Chubbs, I became unstoppable, but he died. That gator finally got him, I guess. At the game, I was winning, but he played dirty, and tried to kill me. I HATE VW BEETLES!! With the love from my grandma and girlfriend Virgina Venit, I was able to win the pro golf tour and win back me and my grandma's house from Shooter. The best part of my story? Seeing my old boss Mr. Larson beating up Shooter. I loooove violence, after all.