janna

i'm still speechless over certain issues. god, save me. i need mental strength to stand up strong. why am i still griefing over someone who doesn't even care about me anymore? if this is known as the power of love, then why can't god share his love with me and let me stand strong again? coping with the loss of someone isn't easy, but life has to go on till the day we drop dead. he mentioned before that i always like to 'act' tough. to a certain extent now, i am acting like i've gotten over it. but the more i 'act', the weaker i feel inside. i'm neither a mortal nor a heroine. I lack the courage. I shouldn't make myself sound pathetic anymore, as it will counter-attack me and make me more miserable deep inside. if only i'm really that TOUGH, this issue will certainly not bother me, just like him. my heart is aching. tears are flowing out uncontrollably. your happiness is all that matters now. as long as you are happy, i dont care who you are with. just go with your heart. even by choosing to go makes you happy, i will still care, pray for your happiness. since the day when you entered my life, traces of your footprints have been left behind. i still wish you can be the one to go through ups and downs in life with me. perhaps my existence doesnt mean much to you anymore. all i know, its not easy for me to forget everything after all these while.i may be giving you this blardy attitude, cold treatment and stuff. but, this part of me still care for you. perahaps what i say now means nothing to u anymore. i dont care how u treat me now. i dont care even if you hate me. all i know, to love you is all i want now.the more i know of you is the more i know i love you.. that .its not going to end here.i wonder when will such angel appear. i certainly need one now, not to fall in love with, but to remove my misery. ÃÂÃÂ⠀šÃƒâ€šÃ‚Å“