Geoffrey: Dancin' Fool

Well, I'm footloose and funky fresh; some might say I’m a latter day dandy, gingerly whisking the very cream of society with a certain carefree ease. Others describe me as “that miserable petulant fuck over there.” As always, I’m sure the truth is somewhere in between and perhaps a shade to the side.So, how did I scale such lofty peaks of human achievement? Well, it was late 1985 when I decided to dedicate my life to the study and practice of Medicine. This was a solemn decision, taken soberly and largely inspired by the prospect of generous financial rewards. It wasn’t until a remarkably temperate day in the autumn of 1992 that I realised this career path would require some reading and a serious commitment to hygiene. I distinctly recall contemplating the seemingly insufferable inconvenience which these, among other, conditions might mete out upon my young personage. I was standing behind the shelter sheds grinding an acorn into the asphalt – these were heady times for all of us.And thus began my life of feckless drifting upon the estuaries of an unplanned existence. Sure, I’ve washed up on a few pleasant beaches, some less so. But I’ve always insisted that the best way to get anywhere is to not commit to anything and see where it takes you. Obviously this has been a disastrous plan as, in hindsight, the natural conclusion to such a ludicrous philosophy is an arts degree.So, before I leave the relative comfort of this dingy internet café and return to another rainy afternoon curled up in the warm folds of my cardboard box, I shall leave you with this thought. Carry a tape recorder and blackmail people, it’s a steady, tax-free earner and after you accrue some capital, you can invest in one of those really cool pinhole cameras to wear in your lapel. If I had the opportunity I would totally steal one. Just think about it.