The Inca Metro Cartel - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Yo yo yo. Well I think I best set the record straight pronto. This is an official update as The Metro Cartel is now operated solely by myself, Dr. Joseph. I cannot reveal anymore details as to the whys for legal reasons. Let's just say that our antics were a bridge too far for those pen-pushers down at city hall who would rather spend all day prancing around their Ikea furnished offices like an assortment of jumped up arse fairies than service their public. You heard that right, these characters by day portray a facade of wholesome goodness and baby-kissing approachability, BUT on the other side these deviants are sunk to the nuts in dogging madness and most notably piss-play...So let's cut through the treacle and get down to business. I am an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a string vest. I enjoy walks on the beach, pub lunches, disco dancing, table tennis and meeting like minded folk who enjoy nothing more than self expression. This is something I feel very strongly about! I like to express myself when I like, how I like and I do so whenever I like. This is Myspace and I'm here to spread the good word of The Inca Metro Cartel and yes indeedio I am here to reprasent my goodself. So let the goodtimes roll, clean your gauzes, pack your pipes, sip your drinks and slap your thighs coz Daddy's comin' home...I love music and am well versed in the art of inhebriation and my all time fantasy is to boot Natasha Bedingfields backdoors right in. Of course by that I mean I hold true aspirations to one day woo Miss Bedingfield, have her on all fours in front of me like a labradour, part her sweet, sweet cheeks and break on into heaven!So ladies and gentleman, let's start a war... Rumpin' 2 fingers of Fudge is just enough to give a girl a treat...

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Like minded revolutionaries and "trouble-makers". Desert Rats, propaganda merchants, inquiring minds, dancers, musicians, ANYBODY affected by the "Hampster Conflict" (1992-2002), Andrea Pirlo, Luther Blissett, Ronald Speirs, Ernesto Guevara de la Serna, Mel B, Clarence Boddiker, Jet Li, Brendan Behan, Aswad, Tong Po, Carla the East German Elephant, Anyone with a SERIOUS backround in Ninjitsu, Hieronymus Bosch, Gianna Michaels (Google her), Jimmy Paige, George Michael, Chuck Norris, Abba, John Fashanu, Tabatha Cash and Jello Biafra... We wanna meet people with CONVICTION, Natasha Bedingfield (purely to square the circle and nail that temptress right square in the doo doo hole) oh and of course MAN-BEAR-PIG!Analyzation, everyone has a dream...body { background-color:FFFFFF; background-image:url('http://www.profilestyling.com/images/l ayouts/0003.jpg'); background-attachment: fixed; backgroun

My Blog

When GOOD friends go BAD!!!

It was the turn of the millenium, the summer of 2000, I was a young buck, full of vigour, on a highway to Hell and loving it!!! I was living la vida loca and a good friend of mine was down on his luck...
Posted by on Fri, 03 Oct 2008 09:00:00 GMT

WHO EVER KNEW BAKED BEANS COULD BE SO SEXY?

And I always thought it was the stuff that clung to the edges of my plate after more than 2 minutes in a 750 Watt microwave... The real truth is something far more sinister and indeed suspect.Un. Afte...
Posted by on Sun, 02 Mar 2008 09:49:00 GMT

PANCAKE DAY

If your anything like me then it reminds you of this chapYeah you guessed it, for some reason Pancake day has always reminded me of the brother of John Fashanu, the deceased Justin Fashanu!All about J...
Posted by on Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:16:00 GMT

THE ART OF SPACE DOCKING

SPACE DOCKINGThe act of using your faeces to penetrate your significant other. Faeces may be frozen and/or inserted into a condom prior to insertion.SPACE DOCKING - THE ALTERNATIVE"What the hell is th...
Posted by on Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:28:00 GMT

KRISS AKABUSSI

KRISS AKABUSIKriss AkabusiKriss Akabusi.. (note the spelling -it's not Chris or Kris!) started his career in Her Majesty's forces where he spent 9 years in the physical training corps. It was during ...
Posted by on Sun, 27 Jan 2008 10:15:00 GMT

BANGKOK CHICKBOYS!!!

Aaaaaah, ladyboys!Fascinating creatures aren't they. I mean, looks like a lady, but really it's a man. They have all the main attributes of a femme except the Holy Grail of femininity, yes indded, the...
Posted by on Thu, 24 Jan 2008 10:51:00 GMT

MY LUST FOR MY 41 YEAR OLD NEIGHBOUR

Might go round me neighbours this afternoon, she's a naughty nag that needs servicin. Shes 41 yrs old and is a right crack, I met her outside freshers and then it turns out we are neighbours, how quee...
Posted by on Sun, 20 Jan 2008 15:09:00 GMT

WENTWORTH MILLERS SEXUAL WEIRDNESS

Some guy was saying that ALL NIGHT down the Batsford pub in Witham in Essex last night, also allegedly Wentworth teases gerbils up his manhole by stretching it with a toilet role holder full of small ...
Posted by on Sat, 19 Jan 2008 02:48:00 GMT

Activities

The pursuit of recreation is a never-ending sphere for a society seemingly deprived of all creativity and freethinking. It is the aim of ..The Cartel.. to ensure both pragmatism and equally anarchy ar...
Posted by on Wed, 15 Nov 2006 19:30:00 GMT

Hamster Insurgency

Urgent news!Cartel intelligence reports hamsters amassing on the Braxted/Kelvedon border reservoir.In the early hours of Wednesday morning 15th November 2006 satellite pictures show signs of some 8/9 ...
Posted by on Sun, 01 Jan 2006 01:00:00 GMT